Tag: france

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Diary From the Attic

Mail Server Crashed, Not That I Quit

Aurore stopped me from swearing in French.  Most shocking.  Anyway, I shouldn’t do it to start with.  Got an image to maintain, you know.

Received an email from Doug praising me that my status report was very good.  Well, he didn’t exactly say that.  What he said was my most recent status report is a lot better than my previous ones.  But at least I know he reads.  Kind of happy over this.

Noubi issued another nonsense SIR.  I rejected it and he rejected my rejection.  Me and him, always at war.  But I just love to have war with him.  Kind of keep my heart pumping.  As for work, my non-customer report seems to work out fine.  Just that now I have to put all the 10 reports into one.  One good challenge.

Tomorrow, I am going to give my very first training session.  And the first in my life.  I think I’ve come well prepared and I hope it should work out okay.

Called up Sam and in fact, he was worried that I have quited the firm (without notifying him).  I told him not to worry, just the mail server crashed last week.  He suggested that I should talk with my ex face to face.  What is there to talk about?  Don’t think we’ll ever come back together anyway.  Right?

Walking down the Champs-Elysees, looking for a restaurant have my dinner.  It is really a headache nowadays to hunt for a restaurant.  I ended up in St. Clement, the one I used to go very often (for my oysters).  And finally, got to try my white Martini.  I love Martini, red or white.

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Diary From the Attic

Tomorrow I Will Try to Wake up with a Smile

April’s Fool.  Really wanted to call up Lionel first thing in the morning telling him that I have quited the firm and returning back to Singapore next morning.  But I didn’t do it.  Thought it would been too much.  Nice thought though.

Yes, my dream has come true.  I sat in the office the whole day wondering what to do.  Try to disturb people here and there but they were too busy.  Went upstairs twice to have a nice chat with the Functional Team.  Sophie was not in and the whole atmosphere was a lot more relax.

The “New Sophie” seems quite nice and I don’t mind to be friend with her.  She seems quite pleasant to be with.  I don’t know.  Just impression, I think.

And I asked Aurore about the ending of “Donnie Brasco”.  She was quite surprised that the text at the end was all in French for she hasn’t been noticing it.  She told me that this was a true story and the Mafia rewarded a great sum to get Donnie kill.  But Donnie still lives (in real life).

This morning I received an Octel reply from Jennifer.  She told me that the server was crashed over the weekend.  No wonder.  Nice to hear her voice.

Sam left a message in my hotel’s voice mailbox.  He wanted to talk to me.  I wonder what is it all about.  I can’t help but thinking that it relates to my ex.  Please stop it!  Or else you will destroy yourself.  Okay?

During the trip, I learnt three things.

  1. The presence of obstacles
  2. Be patience
  3. I shall leave my memories back in Deauville

Having nothing better to do, I have decided to re-write all the customer engagement and monthly summary reports and reduce them into 2 reports respectively.  It will be one big query with a lot of outer join.  Why not?  Just for a challenge.

Be positive.  Be positive.  Be positive.

Tomorrow morning I will try to wake up with a smile.

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Diary From the Attic

Saying Bye Bye to All My Sadness, Okay?

Last day of the month.  Hopefully a new beginning for me.

Got up late (11:30) and packed up as today was supposed to be the last day of my holiday.  And the most annoying thing was that the weather was so good.  It was so sunny.

I had a homemade lunch and left the hotel after one.  Waited for the train to depart for 2 ½ hours.  What’s new?  I was so glad that I returned to Paris.  Kind of really miss the luxury lifestyle.

I was craving for Japanese food and guess what, I found the one I wanted in the Paris Center.  In the end I found that the “owners” actually speak Cantonese.  Really thought they are Japanese.  In fact, they came from Macau 12 years ago.  Isn’t that amazing?

And in time to watch the movie “Donnie Brasco”.  When I ordered the ticket, I spoke in French and that guy said something in French.  Of course I didn’t understand.  In the end, I found that he wanted to ask if I am a student.  Am I look that young?

The show was great.  After all, it was Al Pacino.  My all time favorite star on Earth.  I understood the show “perfectly” until the end.  The ending was in text and it was all in French.  Kind of very annoying.  Must ask Aurore tomorrow morning as she watched the show (because of Johnny Depp).

During this trip, I have learnt something but it is too late now to talk about it.  Will write more later on.

Say bye bye to all my sadness, okay?

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From the Attic Travel Blog

Honfleur, A Beautiful Town by the Sea

One thing good about Window 95 is that it automatically changed my system time today (Daytime something) at midnight 00:00 and forwarded one hour for me.

Planned to get up at undefined time and true enough, got up at 11:00.  I really found it very hard to get up.  I knew my bus would be gone in less than three quarters of an hour so I got out of bed at 11:15, had a quite wash-up and dashed to the train station.  Indeed the bus was half an hour late.

Honfleur is quite a lovely place.  Nice town by the sea.  That is all.  Maybe the expectation was being set too high (someone told me that Honfleur is the most beautiful place in France).  I am sure York is better than Honfleur.

Today was a day of waiting.  You will see.

First I wanted some food.  So I walked into a café shop and had a sandwich.  Actually wanted to have a cup of café and I waited for more than half an hour.  I fed up and left the café.

I was planning to leave the place at six something (buses are rare) but I really wanted to go at three.  There was nothing much to see.  In fact, I prefer Deauville (the beaches).  I discovered that there was a bus at four something and actually waited for 4 hours for the last bus!!  No wonder they suggested that you should rent a car.  (Not quite true as they claim that there are a lot of things to see around Deauville).

And I had a 2 ½ hours supper due to the waiting. What can I say?

And I still think of JP all of the time.

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From the Attic Reflection

Holding Onto the Past

First day of holiday, woke up at half past eight.  Kind of a record.  Couldn’t get hot water from the hot water tap hence called the reception.  Apparently the lady didn’t understand English that well and thought I wanted breakfast instead.  What a joke!  Luckily, the “manager” (owner) was there and he asked me to try the cold water tape and it worked!

Very French breakfast and I headed for the Tourist Information.  Not much help in there and the conclusion is that you really need a car to get by.  So, with my camera, I walked towards the beach area.  The sky was still quite cloudy and therefore I couldn’t get any decent picture at all.  What a shame.  I walked along the coast watching lovers and families walking passed me.  What a shit feeling.  And I remember those good old days back in North Whales (apparently quite the same month) two years ago.  In my shabby Cherry, but it ran!  And JP. She was with me. When we were at the Caravan Site, one day we took a walk along the beach.  She was so beautiful and we picked up shells.  What a loving scene.  And it is so hard to forget!  I can’t get over this.  No, I can’t.  I keep asking myself to be strong and just have to accept that this is reality and it is over.

And we took a lot of good pictures at the beach.  She knew I love the beach.  I always do.  Watching the waving coming towards you really makes your heart flies!  At least mine does.  Always does.  Too much feeling.  Too intense.

And I climbed (back to Deauville) over some rocks, stuck my shoes into a pool of mud once.  Jumping over large big rocks.  That made me feel as though life is sometimes up and down and somehow or another, you will come across some very difficult situation.

I reached another town, feeling kind of hungry.  Therefore I walked into an Italian Restaurant.  Ordered a cheese and tomato as starter, spaghetti as main course, red wine and coffee.  The lady was very sweet so I left ten franc as tips.  The music was good and I asked them what it was.  They showed me the casing and it read, Neil Young – Harvest.  I am going to get that album.

And I walked all the way back to Deauville.  Too many flashbacks.  I kept on thinking of JP and all the “Could Have”.  All the history with no future.  She has changed so much.  Maybe I have changed as well.  What can I do?  Precisely.  Annie said time heals.  But I feel as though it hurts deeper and deeper each day.  Why?  I thought of phoning her just to ask how has she been but then I was afraid that she would not be at home.  She never does.

I planed for an afternoon nap (with Mylene Farmer’s music on) but it turned out to be a three hours long sleep.  And I swear I dreamt of JP again.  No, No, No.  Please. Somebody help me!

Worst of all, the mail server stopped responding.  It is just too sad in here.  I want to go back to Paris!  I want to watch a show instead of “enjoying” the loneliness all by myself.  Too much for me to bear and what have I done to deserve this?

I kept saying “I love you”.  But why?  So very confusing.  Part of my heart really hope that we can get back together.  After all, I still hope that she will regret and come back to me.  It is so easy to say but so hard to do.  Part of me knows that she is not the one for me.  And I am so lost, so lost and so lost.  I really have no aim no more.

I imagine that one day she will approach me with all the hi how are you.  Beautiful sweet smile in her best dress.  And she will ask me to transfer my name of the HDB application to her fiancé.  I will do it.  Anything for her but can I do it now instead of letting this haunting me all the time?

(After a diner at yet another Italian Restaurant)

Okay, I have thought about this.  At first, I was physically attracted (she was so feminine) and mentally (she seemed to understand me) attracted to her.  But as time goes by, she no longer satisfied my inner desire, the desire to be understood and to be cared for.  That, is replaced by history for I always hold on to the past.  That is it.

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Diary From the Attic

Mend a Broken Heart at Deauville?

Last night, I spent the whole night packing up for my holiday in North of France, Normandy – Deauville.  Nicolas suggested to me two weeks ago and Claude and Nicolas helped me to buy the train ticket and booked the hotel.  They are really nice to me.

This morning I woke up at six and ended up sitting in the hotel for an hour waiting for the clock to strike nine (time to work).

When the clock hit five thirty, Willie, Claude and me left the office.  I took a SNCF to St. Lazare.  And then took a train from St. Lazare to Trouville Deuville.  It was a two hour trip.  Still remember the first time I took the Inter City in UK. Similar experience.  Come to think of it, it was eight years ago.  Time passed.  Eight years …

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Diary From the Attic

Remembering the Small Details Is Not Pretty

Today, everybody in the office felt like Friday, except today was not Friday.  It was Wednesday instead.  Had a long phone conversation with Grace last night and feel kind of a little bit better.  I do need friend.  And today, I received one message from Erica (Sam’s wife) and she is ever so positive.  I definitely feel a lot better.

Didn’t know that Grace had a 5 years relationship with an Irish.  Went to a Jewish restaurant with her and the food was not very impressive.  As always, had a very long walk with her.  Really lost track of time.

What else?  Busy sorting out the bills for the time report.

Do I still think of JP?  Yes, from time to time.  Sometimes remembering the small details is not pretty.  I really miss her.  Is it love due to obsession?  I think so.

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From the Attic Memorable Events

Will I be Ever In Love Again?

I am back again.  After a long silence.  Yes, I have broken up with JP. And I was (still?) feeling very depressed about this.  Oh, love.  Francis phoned me the same day just to check I was okay.  He phoned at 0630 but I did not mind.  At least somebody is care about me.  And I received a few emails concerning about me.

This morning, I found that the bracelet that was given by JP was broken into two.  I take it as a sign.  That is fate.

During this few days, I have watched two movies.  “Jerry Maguire” and “The English Patient”. Both films are good.  I loved “Jerry Maguire”.  That is Tom Cruse and it was so romantic.  That is what I need right now.  Michel invited me for dinner and I meet with that “Doctor” again.  This time we talked about God and soul and life and so on.  Weird?

I don’t think JP and I will ever get together again.  Just another phase of life.  I cannot help feeling depressed but I cannot help but feeling relief as well.  Some days I hoped that she will actually come to Paris and meet me and we will be in love again.  But I know it is just another dream that I am trying to create and will not work.  Sigh.

And I have lost all aim of life.  I am not sure what is my next destination.  I was thinking of going back to university and do a Ph.D.  Why not?  Or I shall ask Toby and get me a job in UK.  I can do just anything now.

Will I be ever in love in the near future?  I just don’t know.  Maybe I shall enjoy a moment of alone.

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Concert From the Attic

No Doubt Concert

No Doubt Concert Tonight.

At 1730, I left the office quietly.  Rushing back to my hotel and got changed.  Stepped out of my hotel at 1740 and reached La Cigale just after six.  Funny thing was I didn’t see a lot of people outside La Cigale.  And there was a notice (French) outside saying L’Olympic something something.  I was kind of panic, don’t even know where the hell is L’Olympic.

Lucky, I saw three girls (and a guy) who spoke English.  I introduced myself and one of them (actually all the girls) spoke French.  And they found out that L’Olympic was somewhere near Opera.  Bon!

The pretty one was called Liz.  Not a slim type but with a very pretty face and a very American accent.  Her boyfriend (it seems) was called Jason.  Another two girls, one was called Rebeca and the other was called N something.  They were impressed that I came from Oxford and worked in Andersen Consulting.  Hey, no big deal.  Please.

Sadly, I missed them when the concert started.  That’s life.

At first I stood kind of quite far away from the band. (The concert hall was small anyway.)  I was so worried that I would not be able to see them as the guys in front of me seemed to be quite tall.  Just when the show started, everybody was pushing forward.  I grabbed the chance and dashed myself forward as well.  No, it was not tough to get in front.  What so tough was to remain there.  Everyone was pushing and jumping (real jumping) and every round, there would be a group of persons fell onto the ground.  I was so worried that I would fall down and being stepped onto.  After two and a half song, I gave up and retrieved all the way back.  People were really jumping mad.

No Doubt was just great.  Although some of the songs in the middle of the show was kind of unfamiliar to me but hey, I enjoyed it.  (Got to say I was very hungry, thirsty and tired in that order).  The lead singer seemed very girlie and there were a lot of flowers on the stage.  I just loved her.

So I came back, feeling very week and ordered room service. It was worth it.

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Diary From the Attic

So I Pissed Off the Whole World

Today I ended up making everybody angry.  Firstly, Sophie has arranged a “get together” dinner for me but sad to say, I have forgotten that “No Doubt” concert is tomorrow as well.  I can tell that she is very angry.  She told me that she hoped the concert is worth it.  Damn me.  Damn her.

And Lionel said that my status report is too rough on him.  I just said that in the future, the Function Team better make up their own mind on what to fix.  That is it.

And Aurore is not happy the way I address the issue regard on knowledge transfer.  Well, I wanted more support and they never give it to me.  I have to do it, you know.

Still waiting desperately for JP’s letter.  Just an answer, yes or no.  As simple as that.  My mind really hurts and I cannot focus at all.

Guess what?  I have forgotten my Mum’s birthday on the 16th.  It was yesterday.  I think I have really hurt her.  I am sure my Dad and Sister suffer because of my forgetfulness.

Oh god, what has happened to me?  At least I become in good term with Mohamed again, which is good.