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Diary From the Attic

Sea World at Saint Diego – So So Experience

The Sea World in Saint Diego isn’t that fantastic.  Dauphins and Killer Whales (Orca), Sea Seal and Sea Lion.  I have seen all back in Ocean Park, Hong Kong.  Anyway, it is again, an experience.

Colin just couldn’t resist of going to Barstow again (for the factory outlet).  His wife wanted something from Esprit and well, that is truly understandable.  When I was having a girlfriend, and I know how it feels.  The outlet closed at eight and he didn’t have time to shop in Tommy Hilfiger . Actually, we just missed it and he was pissed off with the shop assistance.  That guy should have let us in.

Tomorrow is the last day of holiday and for Colin, he will go back to Singapore, back to Gateway and most happily, go back to his wife.  Good for him.  For me, I will go back to Paris and face all the SIRs again.  Not a very pretty scene but then again, it is not quite the reality.  Think about all the good life I will have (for another three weeks).

The real reality comes when I return to Singapore.  I have this feeling that I am giving all the world can offer and suddenly, I am stripped down to nothing.  Where will I go after this SocGen project?  I have no idea.  Shall I stay in Singapore for a while and do a local project or shall I opt myself going for an overseas project?  Or will I ever have a chance to get back with JP again?  Or it is really not a good idea?

I don’t know.  How I wish I have more control on my future.  Maybe it is time for me to start thinking about my future.  My future?  Can’t believe I don’t even have one, holding the degree I have.

I see lovers all around me.  And I miss the great time I had with JP whenever we were having a holiday.  So magical.  Sad to say, our relationship went downhill.  Even if she gets back to me, it will not be the same anymore.  Not anymore. So why should I think about her from time to time?

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Diary From the Attic

Destination Los Angeles

Today we needed to hit Los Angeles therefore we both woke up pretty early.  I set the alarm clock at 6:45 am and I woke up naturally.  More correctly, I woke up by a nightmare.  In my dream, I was in bed with JP. And before we got into real business, she admitted that she had slept with more than a hundred guys while I was away.  I was furious and shouting up to the sky (something like the show ‘Romeo and Juliet’) and I could feel my whole body felt with rage.  And I woke up with cold swears falling from my forehead.

Must be the songs from ‘Jewel’.

Guess what. I woke up at 7:20 am instead.  Feeling very tired and we stepped out of the room at around eight.  Had a simple breakfast and hit the road.  I felt a lot better today and Colin and I got along well just like Day One.  Kind of strange that my mood changes so suddenly.

At first Colin decided that he would drive all the way to Barstow and I would take the cue and finished off the trip.  In the end, he got tired after one hour of driving on a very straight road and I took over.  We swapped from time to time and it was fun.

The factory outlet in Barstow was huge.  We both spent a lot of money there.  In the end, we were frightened and tried not to step into any shop.

The inn was very decent indeed and we relaxed quite a fair bit.  Colin was into … erm … movies while I just took a nap.  He was craving for Chinese food so we have decided to go for Chinese.  It took us a long time to get there and the food was no good.  But he still thinks that it is better than cheese and bread (Western food).

During the whole day, I was thinking about JP again.  Thinking about the possibility that we will get back together.  But will I ever even be able to bear the shadow of not being able to know what she has been doing behind me?  After all, we have officially broken up.  And do I really care if she is really flirting and sleeping around?  Guess I shouldn’t.  Thought that the purpose of such a trip is to forget about the past but the past is just too difficult to be forgiven.