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From the Attic

My Paris Collection – Passion

A picture of black and white.

Imagination extends. Two lovers kiss at this momentary silence. Everybody in the background fade to black. Just the two of them.

Time suspends. Moving planes travel in two different directions. All motions halt. Fade to black. Bunch of flower in their hands.

Enchanting moment. That is Passion.

Passion comes from longing.
Passion is like a burning candle.
Passion is tears and joy.
Passion redefines time.
Passion is an Agent of Love.

And when motion resumes, when the sand begins its descend in the hourglass, the picture begins to turn white and it begins to turn bright. My eyes are hurt and there is nothing to be seen.

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Diary From the Attic

I Do Need a Lover

Weekend again.  As always, woke up really late.  This time is about five in the late afternoon.  Gone out for an Italian restaurant.  The food was good.  Wanted to watch a movie but I had too much alcohol.

I do need a lover.

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Diary From the Attic

Love is Strong?

Today I was totally immersed in boredom.  Think of what to do was really a pain.  Therefore I decided to write the weekly status report instead.  Really couldn’t spend the whole day doing it and hence, spent the rest of the day reading the VTF menu volume one.  Kind of a daft thing to do but hey, what the hack!

First thing in the morning, I called up Ginger.  Thought I have given her enough nightmare.  Just an apology.  This whole thing is a total bad experience.  Guess one has to go through some tough time (and decision) from time to time.

Received an email from my sister this morning.  A bit worry about whether George and her will work out.  I mean, I don’t really know that guy that well.  And he doesn’t like taking photo with my sister.  As said by her, probably only less than 10 photos.  Kind of sad.  I think I should write her a nice email explaining some sense into her mind.

From next week onwards, I will be working like a refugee (hey, today was spring cleaning).  As there will be a new guy coming in especially for the MUE project, I will lose my crappy working place.  And I have to work in another office.  Pretty sad again.

I knocked off at 5:45 and Claude took me for a nice walk showing me all the nice places.  Somehow I started off the topic about girlfriend and he told me that he has lost his girlfriend after his Sydney trip.  Pretty sad (again), isn’t it?  I understand that he has been with this girl for 1 year and she told him that she is not good enough for him and so on.  And she has been avoiding him lately.  Very similar story.  How come when it comes to the breakup, the girl is always the gentle one?

As for Laurent, few days ago, he told me that he was married.  He looked kind of young and I was in shock.  He then told me that his marriage has only lasted for a few months and he wife has left France.  What is love?  Kind of fragile, isn’t it? (As quoted from my sister)  But now, Laurent is with another girl.

These strike me really hard.  Is it really so hard to maintain a relationship, I am asking myself.  Does it mean that love never conquer distance?  I always think that love should be strong enough to withstand just anything.

As for Aurore, she once had a boyfriend but he lived very far away from her.  In the end, after influenced by the people in the office, she has broken off from her lover.

Distance.

Back to what I have done tonight.  I went out with some of the BNP team and had dinner near the Sacred Heart Church.  Very impressed by the way I talk.  I mean I could never make any decent long conversation before.  Munchie (nake name) told me that I am very different from HK guy and Singapore guy.  In the end, he told me it is the value that is different.

Went to Champs-Elysees, Virgin Mega Store and bought the new Depeche Mode CD.

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Diary From the Attic

So I Had Raw Beef

I felt so different today.  I have a new haircut and I wore contact lens.  Totally different and in such a jolly mood.

Received the reply from Benny, hence my feeling drops a bit.

Composed an email back to the office and it was kind of a complain.

Went into a bar kind of restaurant.  Ordered a set menu and had started of the day.  When the waiter tried to explain to me what it was, he told me that it was beef with vegetable on top.  In fact, the beef was raw.  Totally raw.  Guess I can take the Steak Tartar now!  I was so worried that the chicken in mushroom sauce was raw as well.  Lucky it wasn’t.

Have to busy reply to my friends.

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From the Attic

My Paris Collection – Name That Shall Be Spoken – Name That Shan’t Be Spoken

Names That Shall Be Spoken, if they are the source of life. Warm sunshine, beautiful waterfall, gentle breeze – Names That Shall Be Spoken. To unify love, to achieve the highs, to perform momentary magic – Names That Shall Be Spoken. To make history, to signify history, to be reminded of history and to contribute – Names That Shall Be Spoken. Stadium, people united, voices and waves, hope and expectation – Names That Shall Be Spoken.

To associate – Names That Shall Be Spoken.

The temptation of evil, suburban junks, the destroy of love, dictators and Big Brother, people united with war and blood – Names That Shan’t Be Spoken. The link to the painful memory, the pitfall of recurrent mistakes, the devil of emotional illusion, the nuclear state of mind – Names That Shan’t Be Spoken.

To alienate – Names That Shan’t Be Spoken.

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Diary From the Attic

If Only Life Works out Differently

Last night I slept very late having online chat with a lot of great guys.  Somehow we went into the topic of writing literature, and this UK guy “Dead Calm” and I was talking about Swan Lake (one lady elegant, educated with American culture called Swan).  And we wrote a lot of stuffs online.  Finally I posted one of my message “Death Marriage” out and some guys even chatted with me privately and asked me who is author and so on.  I was so thrill and was really in joy.

Towards the end, I was chatting was an American woman and she suggested to have phone sex today.  And I didn’t call.

Therefore, I woke up feeling pretty bad.  Logged onto Notes and found that the office rejected my holiday plan (of paying).  Even I was worried that I do not possess a valid visa to USA.  What a bad day!

One more thing, a very bizarre dream.  I dreamt of visiting my ex.  I knocked onto the door and found two women inside her room.  It was kind of an authentic place.  Small room with wooden furniture.  A small bed with bed light.  A table and a very decent window.  It must be evening.  I asked for my ex.  One of the women asked another one to leave the room and vaguely she (the one who remained in the room) told me that my ex had left and would not want to see me.

Then she told me I can sleep on the right side of the bed while she would talk the left side.  And suddenly a drop dead beautiful (white) lady who dressed like an angel came into the room.  Talked to me but I hardly remember what she said!  All I could remember was she was very pleasant.

And she left the room.  My ex walked in.  She looked so thin!  And she sat down by the bed.  I sat next to her and began to chat.  And she looked darker as well.  I touched her fingers and all a sudden, I found that she was actually me!

And I woke up.

I asked Mohamed and he has no answer for me.

Today I told Mohamed in a very convincing voice: I want to go home.  Really, I am tired of being in Paris.  I miss JP a lot.  Tonight after a dinner at my favorite restaurant, I thought of buying my friends presents (budget FF1,000) and I want to buy JP one too.  Oh, I miss her.  If only life works out differently.

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From the Attic

My Paris Collection – Death Marriage – Alternative Lyrics

For Love is sacred, for Love is pure. Bearing the misery of us. Bringing along with her all our sufferings. She stepped into the Gate of Hell. Thousands of years she has been embracing us. Binding us in harmony. Modern concept is not a place for Love no more.

What is love?

A volcano ready to erupt. Crows fly high above screaming along with the army’s shriek. The Army of Death. Will we ever stand a chance?

Love stands tall watching the movement underneath. The agents of Love will be with her till the last moment.

What is sacrifice?

Hell is illusion. Hell stinks. Death thinks that he has consumed Love. But Love has dissipated herself to all of us. She has proved eternity.

And this shall engrave onto the Monument of Love.

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Diary From the Attic

Friends to Confide In

This morning was such a good start.  Francis called me up at 8 and I had a nice good chat with him.  Basically, his advise was to remain in VTF until promotion.  He is currently into J P Morgan project doing some Year 2000 enhancements.  He would love to bring me in but he is thinking about my future as well.  Nice guy.

Had enough sleep, that’s the key to start a good day.  This morning, I had nothing to do so I went up to see Lionel and discussed with the Functional Team about MUE.  I think “New Sophie” is quite charming.

Had lunch with Mohamed and we ate pizza.  Had dinner with him again and ate Tunisian food.  That guy is seriously thinking of quitting the firm and I do not object his doing so.  I mean he has not been treated correctly.  Screwed up management, that is. 

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Diary From the Attic

25 More Man-days in Paris

Monday, status report again.  This time, I think I am quite nasty towards the Function Team as I am really not happy about the reliability SIR.  Guess they got the message.  Damn me.  I should have some self-control but I think there has been too much stress, especially between the Technical and Function Team.  And I am somehow swallowed into this whirlpool.

Had a heart to heart chat with Mohamed after work and found that he has found 2 contracts.  Good for him.  One is to develop compiler and linker for object orientated programming for AS4000.  Bizarre!  Another is project management for Electronic Documentation.

Had a nice Japanese food again.  This time, the staffs know me and gave me quite a huge portion.  The beauty of this is to be able to converse in Cantonese.

Somehow tonight, I kind of dreaming that JP will write me an email as ask if she can come back to my arm again.  I still cannot forget, can I?

25 more man days in Paris and I am gone.  Time passes, isn’t it?

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Diary From the Attic

Still Not Dare to Eat Steak Tartar (Yet)

Woke up really late.  In fact if “room service” never called me this afternoon, I would have slept a little bit longer.  As usual, had my “standard” lunch which is cheese and bread, fruit salad, a cup of tea and this time, a glass of Martini as well.  What a wonderful life.

Spent the whole day writing up a document on MUE for William.  Took me several hours to do it.  But after all, I don’t have anything better to do anyway.  Called up Grace and had a dinner with her.  We went to a very nice restaurant and really wanted to try the Steak Tartar but had rump steak in pepper source instead.