Category: I See I Write

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I See I Write

Karmic Love Affairs – A Doodle

Today, I have this sudden urge to draw. The initial concept was to display the tension between a pair of lovers not in balance. That is, one in control of the entire relationship while the other one is not. But it has become something more elaborate.

Title – Karmic Love Affairs

In control, to that I mean, have you been in a situation whereby you are at the mercy of that someone to contact you, set up the next occasion to meet, and etc. It is as though, you keep on staring at your phone – and in my era, your pager – for that one message. And when that comes, there could be thousands and one way to interpret it. The beauty and the torment of being in love.

For some relationships of yours, the other party could be the one in control. And for others, you could be the one in control.

While this is not a universal truth, I reckon those who are not in control in a relationship would likely end up getting dumped (note: the reverse doesn’t always hold true).

Hence, back to the composition of this doodle, there are three persons inside.

Three?! You may ask.

Let’s start with the rectangular frame in the middle. The hourglass inside denotes a time that is later than the two hourglasses outside (sand on top versus sand at the bottom). One way to interpret this is to think of the subjects outside the frame in the past while the subjects inside, the present. Another way is that outside is present while the inside is the past.

If you notice, while the man looks the same inside and outside the frame – i.e. the same person, we can’t say the same for the female character. The one inside has a sharper chin and short hair. Contrast to the one outside, rounder chin with long hair. Therefore, there are three persons.

Raised fist depicts control. Broken hearts are simply, broken hearts.

Going back to the three persons in the composition, the man who was in control of a relationship in the past broke a girl’s heart and at present, thanks to karma (all the loops are karma as what goes around comes around), his heart is broken by another girl at present.

Hope you enjoy reading the explanation!

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I See I Write

C’mon Give Irene of Red Velvet a Break

I don’t usually opine on current affairs or entertainment news. The recent bullying scandal involving a very popular K-pop female artist and a Korean female stylist got me thinking on a few things.

Oh, Irene. Be Strong!

The Background

This case is interesting, especially in a South Korean setting. Long story short, Irene the leader of Red Velvet one day got really angry with her stylist for reasons unknown. Some speculate it was due to a transmitter fell off her costume during a live performance. Anyhow, the female stylist was called into a room and was scolded by Irene for 20 long minutes.

Feeling terrible, the female stylist released a complaint on her social media account without naming the artist in question (avoidance of potential defamation lawsuit), but with hashtags that gave enough hints to who that would be. Irene together with her management company apologized to the stylist as well as to the public. The original post has since been removed by the stylist.

You would have thought that the story ends here.

But no. South Korea does things differently from the rest of the world. Netizens – some could have adored Irene in the past – turn against her. Some demand Irene to leave the girl band Red Velvet. I would not be surprised that some may form a hate campaign just to pressurize Irene into committing suicide. After all, the latter is not uncommon in South Korea.

Irene’s major commercial contracts have been suspended. The release of her upcoming movie has been postponed. I wonder what will happen to Red Velvet in future. I do like their latest single called “Future”.

My Thoughts

Just three.

First, I do not disillusion myself thinking that the person I see on-camera would be the same person I see off-camera. On camera, artists do their job to entertain. They say the right thing and smile the right way, looking stunning and do things that capture our attention. Even more so in the South Korean entertainment industry when everything is on overdrive – costumes, makeup, dance choreography, reality shows, sports events, and more.

Am I surprised that an artist may one day lose it and yell at people off-camera? I am not. If this was to happen in the West – think Ariana Grande – do people care that much? I may like Ariana’s music. But I don’t necessarily have to like her personality.

Second, gender bias. If the artist in this episode was a man and the stylist was also a man, would the magnitude of the blow-up be the same? Or a male artist yelling at a female stylist? Would that have been brushed aside?

Perhaps the local society is not ready for females who dominate like men do.

Third, the industry. Take the banking industry as an example. Is it free of bullies? Not really. But at least, there is a code of conduct and there are speak up channels. So, what is the norm within the local entertainment industry? It would be interesting to know. I reckon the entertainment industry has to take some responsibility here.

And So

I am not a huge Red Velvet fan per se. But I really like Irene & Seulgi sub-unit and their Monster mini-album. Despite what the netizens say, I do not think Red Velvet can survive without Irene. Irene is the visual and she is the leader.

Who knows? There may be yet another scandal from within South Korea somewhere somehow and people would simply forget this entire episode. After all, the public just needs something else, something juicer to turn our attention to.

Or better, like my buddy Yudha said, “Red Velvet will do a comeback after the depute of the new girl group (from the same company SM Entertainment) Aespa“. I think he is right.

Irene & Seulgi – “I am a little monster”
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I See I Write Observing Life

The Romance of Tiger and Rose (传闻中的陈芊芊) – An Amazing C-Drama

Had I not have watched that many Korean drama involving out-of-the-world kind of time travel storyline, I would have found The Romance of Tiger and Rose far fetched and too weird for my liking.

But thanks to Korean drama, I can no longer be shocked by stories that are … just way too bizarre. When I was young, I was used to scoring well at homework most of the time. Except for that one time when I failed homework because my story was … unrealistic. Now, I can safely conclude that I was born in the wrong era.

Oh yar …

The story starts in ancient China when the third princess of City of Huayuan (the girl in red above) intercepted the crown prince of Xuanhu while he was on the way to marry the second princess. Just to complete the picture, first princess is paralyzed from waist down. Although the second princess is not the real daughter of the queen (or City Owner), she is next in line because … well, the third princess is ruthless, not fit for the crown and the first … wheelchair bound.

In the City of Xuanhu, women call all the shots. They lead the army, go to work while men, stay at home and do housework. Women are the educated ones. It is not a taboo that women visits male ‘musicians’ (more like male courtesans) to seek entertainment. Men are born to obey and it is just weird to watch. In a good way. Sort of like, what if the whole gender bias in the world is … reversed?

City of Xuanhu is the total opposite and needless to say, the two cities are at war.

But that is not the main story, even!

The main story is that this ancient Chinese story is created by a modern day female scriptwriter who has been criticized because … she wrote a love story without knowing what love is.

And then she was teleported into her own story living the character of the third princess, get to fall in love with all her characters!

This is a recipe for a great story. A person travels in time to experience a plot, to attempt in changing the plot, and to live through a life changing experience.

That’s why, to me, this is bar none one of the best dramas I have watched.

PS. Yes, great chemistry on screen.

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Diary I See I Write Observing Life

Different Types Of Friends As You Leave Your Workplace To Another

When you are young in your career, it is easy to make work becomes you. As though consciously or subconsciously, work is the single most important thing in life. Over time, you may find your balance. And recognize that workplace is just an entity. Your boss doesn’t own you a living. Neither do you own him or her your life.

With the amount of time we spend at work, inevitably we make friends. Or at least be friendly to others. We talk about our weekends, our overseas families that visit us, the joy – wedding, childbirth, or promotion – and the sadness – aging parents, a sick child, or health issues. We talk about our “friends” at work. We talk about our “enemies” at work. Enemies become friends (less likely). Friends become enemies (more likely). A workplace can be fun (less likely). Or it can be toxic (more likely). Most of us could probably write a book about work than writing about what happens after work, though I sincerely hope not.

Eventually, one leaves from one workplace to another. This is where I have come to the realization that besides those whom I don’t care about and those who likewise don’t care about me in my day-to-day work and beyond, there are different types of friends as I leave one workplace to another.

Type I. Friends who no longer talk and are turning into strangers.

People can be nice to each other thanks to the work environment. We find topics to talk about that are largely work related. We need each other at work. We have common goals. Outside of this environment, there really isn’t anything worth catching up on. So when separated, there is hardly any reason to be friends.

I suppose most of my colleagues at work would fall under this category.

Type II. Friends who continue talking with me most likely they still need something from me in near future.

While no one is indispensable at work, when one leaves, someone else would need to take over. It is hard to say whether or not that someone would continue befriending me when I am of no value to him or her in near future.

Pessimistically or realistically, type II can become type I. Or it can become type III.

Type III. Friends who become friends for real.

I have worked for more than two decades. I can say with conviction that I do come across people whom I have got to know at a workplace and we keep in touch after we parted. In fact, many of my best friends in life were once upon a time my colleagues.

When you come across type III friends, count your blessing. Hold onto them and stay in touch. Time works both ways. It can grow friendship; it can also kill friendship.

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I See I Write

Marvel Heroes Hero Archetype Quick Reference Guide

Update: Jan 21, 2017. Adjustment after biggest update ever patch 2.0 is live.

What can I say? For Marvel Heroes fans (yes, you). By Marvel Heroes fan (that’s me). I hope you will find this quick reference guide useful. Feel free to print it out, hang it on to your wall, impress your girlfriends / boyfriends / parents / children that you are indeed playing a very complicated game. This game means business.

In this card, you can quickly find:

  • Hero archetype ordered by hero names.
  • Hero archetype ordered by archetype.
  • Attribute and Infinity Gem color mapper (yes, this game is getting complex).
  • Attribute popularity index (for you to price your priced artifacts perhaps).

You may pass to your friends but please do so in entirety (I need to ‘advertise’ my YouTube channel and feed my plants). This guide is free, on me. But I may sell you different skins of the same guide in future.

Marvel Heroes Hero Archetype Quick Reference Guide

Kidding. Click the image below for your free download!

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I See I Write

“Don’t Eat My Family”

Kids say the funniest things.  Out of nowhere, my 3-year-old niece led me out of my living room – where my sister Lora and my brother-in-law Benny were seated – and into my bedroom.  She said in a calm and composed manner, “Don’t eat my family.”

My niece and I

She then closed the door on her way out, effectively ‘locking’ me into my bedroom.  Just not too long ago, she led me into the common bedroom – which is now her room – and we have started our drawing ritual.  Bethany does not draw much.  But she enjoys watching others to draw.  So I asked her, “What shall we draw today?”  She replied, “A monster”.  I did just that.  Perhaps too realistic in my ever burning enthusiasm in everything I do.  Bethany was frightened and in one quick reflex, I tore the page out, collapsed it into a ball, and passed it to my wife Cynthia literally erased the monster from our drawing history.

“Wonder Pets!” Bethany requested.

What on earth are Wonder Pets?!  I called out to her parents for help.  Still unable to visualize how a turtle, a duck, and a guinea pig look like in a wonder pets setting, I quickly asked for my phone and Google it.  How I love technology.

With a kid around, it is impossible – just not possible – to sit and do something for, say, 10 seconds.  The moment I stepped away, Bethany would call me back.  I said to Cynthia, “Could you please keep her occupied for a minute?”  Nope.  Just not possible.

I love watching Bethany playing pinball game on my phone.  There is no such notion as losing a game.  Bethany got excited and she cheered every time the ball fell off the drain and reappeared at the spring launcher.  It is as though she has made it happens (which in a way she has).  It is good to see the world through kids’ eyes at times.  Participation is a win by itself.

Benny has taken some photographs using his Nikon D90.  I am happy to share them here.

  • Click here to view the photo album (7 photographs)
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I See I Write

Dia Frampton Was In Hard Rock Cafe Singapore

Dia in Singapore!

And we were there, thanks to our Google+ buddy Kevin‘s friendly alert.  Kevin all the way in US heard about the concert.  We in Singapore didn’t.  Recently, Cynthia and I have started watching The Voice.  We love how this singing competition invites semi-pros to participate.  Since we have missed the first two seasons, together with our buddy TK, three of us put our heads together day-and-night analyzing Dia Frampton’s music album in depth, trying to see if the S$25 ticket price (and S$10 booking fee!) was worth it.  We love her music.  I love her sultry voice.  It was three yes’es.

Hard Rock Cafe Singapore – the one in town – is a rather small venue.  But it has a great atmosphere.  There is a small stage and behind the stage, three large Gothic multicolored glass panels immortalizing Elvis the King in the middle, a dude on a piano singing Great Ball of Fire on the right, and on the left, a legendary guitarist whose name I am unable to  pinpoint.  He could well be the Boss.

In front of the stage is a rather large dancing area.  Much larger than the one in Hong Kong.  But here lies the challenge of seeing the artist if you are standing a few rows from the front.  We reached the venue at 6.45 pm and there was a queue forming.  Hardcore fans were determined to get to the front row.  TK, Cynthia, and I were the pragmatic one.  We needed a good meal and some good beer.  I have reserved a table on the second floor in advance.  Time for some quality fajitas and beer and a great time guaranteed every time we visit a Hard Rock Cafe, wherever in this world.

At nine-ish, Dia Frampton entered the stage, with her guitarist Daniel from UK.  She is – I would say – petite and in a beautiful pastel colored bareback dress with her hair tied up.  A perfect outfit for the Singapore weather.  I had no idea what to expect.  It turned out to be an acoustic set with she occasionally played the guitar and the piano.  Daniel was her temporary guitarist and the entire performance seemed a bit like them jamming on stage.  At times, it wasn’t entirely clear who should pluck the ending notes, a song was restarted because the starting notes weren’t that entirely right, or some of the rhythms seemed a bit strange.  However, none of these matters because it was so easy to lose in the moment when all I saw was two artists creating music on stage.  Dia has made the effort to change the arrangement and delivery of her songs making them fresh to listen to.

It was Dia’s first visit to Singapore and she has cracked some good jokes on stage.  Like how she came to know more about Singapore in the last minute through reading Wikipedia during her 24 hours plane ride.  How visiting Singapore is not exactly helping on her new year resolution of trying to shop less.  She and Daniel had American food for lunch and she has promised to try out Singapore’s chicken rice before she left.  Because it is famous according to Wikipedia.  Dia and Daniel took turn to tease each other on stage.  Like how Dia is unable to understand Daniel’s British accent most of the time.  And Daniel was surprised that Dia cries a lot, even when watching Wreck-It Ralph.  There is a girly side to Dia that I found charming.  She talked a little about The Voice too.  I am pretty sure I would have been a fan had I watched the first season.

I was expecting her to perform some cover songs.  True enough, she did a few (which I presume that some of these numbers were taken from The Voice).  Cynthia loves Dia’s rendition of Losing My Religion.  Dia sang Inventing Shadows, which signifies an important milestone in her competition.  That was a solid delivery.  I love the last song of the set most – Heartless – when she performed by the piano.  So full of emotion and commitment.  Watching Dia on stage was like watching The Voice.  TK said that she sang much better live than in her studio recording.  I felt that her falsetto was a bit weak.  But when she attacked those big notes with commitment, it was glorious.

We had a great time.  It was a fun evening.  And thanks to Kelvin for the alert!

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I See I Write

Assumption Of Mary: A Personal View

Yesterday, Cynthia and I have celebrated the feast of The Assumption at the Cathedral.  Quite honestly, the Cathedral is likely the most uncomfortable place in Singapore to attend a Mass.  It is warm inside, even in the evening.  The noise from the main streets surrounding the Cathedral can be distracting.  So are the fans inside blowing at full blast.  Part of the ceiling is falling apart.  Paint work is coming out.  In short, our Cathedral is in dire need of a major renovation, if not a rebuild.

But, if you are looking for an authentic experience, the Cathedral is the place to be.  Part of the Mass is celebrated in Latin.  The choir members dressed in robes, their singing may well rival the angels from Heaven.  The priest, though old, is filled with spiritual energy.  I sat my back straight throughout the sermon, absorbing each and every word the priest said.  He often strikes me as someone who is so absolutely ready to embrace Heaven, in a mental and a spiritual sense.  If you meet him on the street, he may look like a frail old man.  But he has an amazing aura that touches people’s heart.

One story passed down by generations goes something like this.  After Jesus has died and resurrected, his mother, Mary, has lived to the age of 65.  Whether Mother Mary has died or has gone into a deep sleep – a debate we still have till today – she was buried inside the tomb of Jesus.  Thomas, the disciple who was always late for everything arrived at the tomb one day late.  When Thomas opened the tomb, lo and behold, Mother Mary’s body was no longer inside.  It was then said that her body was taken to Heaven leaving nothing behind on Earth.

Now, that is just a story.  A story shared by the Priest with repeated reminders that this story is not Gospel.  It is not until November 1, 1950 when Pope Pius XII solemnly declared the following:

By the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and by our own authority, we pronounce, declare, and define it to be a divinely revealed dogma: that the Immaculate Mother of God, the ever Virgin Mary, having completed the course of her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory.

As a dogma, we Catholics must believe that Mother Mary was assumed body and soul into Heaven.  But why is it so important to the Catholics where Mother Mary’s body and soul has disappeared to?  To answer that, we have to go back to Garden of Eden.

In the beginning, God created Adam.  Adam took a piece of his rib bone and created a woman.  He named her Eve.  Both Adam and Eve were having a great time in Garden of Eden, the paradise until the snake tempted Eve (and later on Adam) to eat the forbidden fruit that opened their eyes.  God was angry.  Adam and Eve were forever banished from the paradise.  For dust you are and to dust you shall return, so said God.  Just like that, they have lost their immortality.  From Adam and Eve onward, we bore the Original Sin.  Each of us die to our Original Sin.  Generations by generations, until …

… Jesus Christ came and has freed us from sin by his ultimate sacrifice on the Cross.  His resurrection has showed us that death can be conquered and those who follow Him will get to Heaven.  All is well, but here is one question.  If Jesus was born as a man, wouldn’t he too inherit the Original Sin from Mother Mary?

To tackle this question, we have to first look at where Jesus came from.  Catholics believe in the Trinity aspect of Divinity.  There are three aspects of Divinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  To me, God the Father is not bounded by time or place, exists everywhere and throughout the scale of time.  When God the Father sent his Son to us more than two thousand years ago, that aspect of Divinity was bounded by time and place.  God made man – Jesus, his Son – lived with us and taught us love during His stay in flesh and blood before returning to Heaven.  God was physically among us.

Now, since Jesus was born as a Divinity, at and from the time of His conception, Mother Mary must have been kept free of Original Sin.  Because Jesus is without Sin (hence, the dogma of Immaculate Conception).  Since Mother Mary was free of Original Sin, she must have triumphed over physical death.

But that is not enough.  By Mother Mary’s actions as recorded in the Bible, we believe that she must have ascended to Heaven.  Therefore, she must have triumphed over spiritual death too.  What is spiritual death?  It is things we do that forever deny us from entering Heaven.  In another word, Mortal Sins.

Why does it matter to us that Mother Mary has assumed into Heaven, body and soul, and that she has triumphed over both physical and spiritual death?

It does.  Mother Mary is our role model and if we keep our body and soul pure and follow the teachings of Jesus, we too may enter into Heaven when the time comes.

Below was the first reading during the Feast of the Assumption (Revelation 11:19; 12:1-6, 10).

Then the sanctuary of God in heaven opened, and the ark of the covenant could be seen inside it.  Then came flashes of lightning, peals of thunder and an earthquake and violent hail.

Now a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman, robed with the sun, standing on the moon, and on her head a crown of twelve stars.  She was pregnant, and in labour, crying aloud in the pangs of childbirth.

Then a second sign appeared in the sky: there was a huge red dragon with seven heads and ten horns, and each of the seven heads crowned with a coronet.  Its tail swept a third of the stars from the sky and hurled them to the ground, and the dragon stopped in front of the woman as she was at the point of giving birth, so that it could eat the child as soon as it was born.

The woman was delivered of a boy, the son who was to rule all the nations with an iron sceptre, and the child was taken straight up to God and to his throne, while the woman escaped into the desert, where God had prepared a place for her to be looked after for twelve hundred and sixty days.

Then I heard a voice shout from heaven, ‘Salvation and power and empire for ever have been won by our God, and all authority for his Christ, now that the accuser, who accused our brothers day and night before our God, has been brought down.

PS. I am not trained in theology.  This blog entry is based on my personal view and understanding.

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Doctor And Nurses’ Tips On Eating In Singapore Food Courts, Radio DJs And Audiences’ Take On Love and Medals

It was food poisoning, my doctor said to me.  I was not surprised, judging at the symptoms I have since last night.  Where did you eat, he asked.  It was a food court at Sim Lim Square where I had mutton soup, I answered.  The food court is merely a block away from where the clinic is.  My doctor suddenly seemed enlightened and said, “Ah, yes.  I had a few bad experience eating there.”

According to my doctor, he gauges the hygiene factor of a local food court by the cleanliness of the toilet as well as the availability of hand soap.  If the hand soap is constantly run out, there is little hope that the hawkers would have their hands washed properly after [peeing and pooing] (he used a Chinese dialect that I am not familiar with, but I got the essence of what he was trying to say).  Next time when I visit a food court in Singapore, the first thing I shall do is to inspect the toilet.  If a doctor does it, I don’t see why I shouldn’t.

There was no one in the waiting room, so we took time to chat.  I do not have friends who is a doctor and I am not sure what ticks them.  OK, I have a distant relative who works in the emergency room.  We talked about shattered bones of the motorists and his unpredictable yet predictably long working hours.  That time, I wanted to veer the conversation away from the bones and onto, say, how do surgeons have the time to find love?  But he went on and on about bones and more bones, blood and more blood.  It is true.  Singapore is a terrible place for motorists.  I am still at awe at the courage or what not that some cyclists exhibit when they insist on wanting to share the same space with the local drivers.  It only takes one tiny mistake of a driver to potentially paralyze a cyclist.  I don’t even feel safe walking inside a car park.  I often remind Cynthia, “Never, never trust the Singaporean drivers.”

Ironically, I am one.

At the reception counter, while waiting for my medicine to be concocted, I chatted with the two ladies behind the counter.  I am not sure if they are receptionists or they are nurses.  After that bloody toe operation – bloody as in literally bloody and not in a swearing sense – I am convinced that they are capable to take on the role of a nurse too.  On the same topic of food poisoning, one said, “These days, we have increasingly more Chinese nationals working in a food court.  They are not as hygienic.  Stay away from their food.”  Another one added, “For me, I only eat boiled food like fish soup from these stores.  At least the food is cooked right in front of my eyes.”

I hate to stereotype.  But I think they both spoke wisdom because numbers do rule our world.  The challenge to me is, unlike some of my friends, I cannot tell a local man from a Chinese national.  Maybe a PRC girl to a local girl.  But that is a different story.

Before I left the consultation room, my doctor and I talked about the recent surge in flu cases.  He commented that people here do not cover our mouths when we cough.  I commented that in Japan, the sick ones wear masks when they are sick.  Do you know what he said?  He advise people to wear a mask in the office if someone near them is sick.  If we do not have the decency to refrain from spreading the virus, at least do our part to lower the chance of getting infected by others.

This doctor speaks wisdom.

*     *     *     *     *

I am a big fan of the Backseat DJs Maddy Barber and Cheryl Miles.  Their chemistry works out to be better than my initial expectation.  Yesterday’s topic was on Team Singapore (athlete) and our reliance on foreigners to win medals.  One guy from Team Malaysia (the football captain I think) commented that we would not have won the first leg of the World Cup qualifying match against Malaysia if we do not have foreigners.  The debates went on.  Cheryl and Maddy were patriotically defending our foreign talent policy.  One caller dialed in and said, “Medals should only won by born and bred Singaporeans.  No foreigners should be in our national teams.”

Upon hearing that, I felt a brief moment of exclusion.  13 years I have been a Singapore Citizen.  But no matter how many years I clock, I can never be a born and bred Singaporean.  In this hot topic of foreigners versus the locals, I often find myself stuck in the middle.  Not too long ago, I was a foreigner.  Within the Singapore community, we have Citizens and Permanent Residents (Is PR considered as foreigners?)  And within the citizen category, we have born and bred Singaporeans and the immigrants.  My wife from Indonesia has been a PR here for 10 years.  My sister is a relatively new PR from Hong Kong who now has a baby (I often tease her that she is a PRC).  My niece is born in Singapore.  Her father – my buddy – is also a born and bred Singapore.  My mother-in-law who is visiting Singapore is on a 5 years long time social visit pass.  My mother too has the same pass.  The line is blurred.  Regardless where we are in this foreign-ness spectrum, we have contributed to the society just as hard, riding through SARS and a few recessions, the current inflation and yet another round of election together with the born and bred locals and the semi-foreign residents.

Hack.  We eat the same food.  And I may need to pop by my bathroom one more time before I am done writing this entry.

 *     *     *     *     *

A few days ago, there was love in the air.  One caller dialed into Maddy and Cheryl’s radio show and shared with them and the audience her dilemma in love.  6 years she has worked and now she is 26.  6 years she has dated this guy and it is only recently when she discovered that he has been married all along.  This sounds so wrong  How did she not know, how did this guy’s wife not know, and how could he love two at the same time – all these years?  Personally I feel that it is cruel for a guy to rob a girl 6 years of her prime dating life with a lie.  Personally I also feel that Maddy and Cheryl are too cheerful as Aunties Agony.  I, on the other hand, can be a good candidate for Brother Agony.  Because I have a soothing voice, because I am a patient man with a pair of good listening ears, and because I am morally flexible.

One caller quickly dialed in and shared her friend’s story in air.  It was on her friend’s wedding date when the groom did not turn up.  Instead, the groom’s wife called and told her friend that the groom has already been married.  This blows in so many different dimensions.  I could not even fathom on what the groom was thinking, or trying to do.  Imagine the disappointment and humiliation the bride had to bear.  Fortunately, this sad, sad story has a good ending.  Her friend is now happily married with kids.  Her advice to the first caller was: move on and there are better things in life await.

That is not the end of the story.  A third caller dialed in and shared his story on air.  One day, his friend called and asked to meet up and have a cup of coffee, 2 in the morning and in Geylang (note to overseas readers: Geylang is a residential area, and inside, there is a tiny red light district).  I am glad that I do not have friends who call me 2 in the morning for a cup of coffee in Geylang.  My wife would not be happy about it.  So, the third caller did meet up his friend.  They chatted from two to four in the morning and across the street, at the entrance of a love motel, he has spotted his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) emerged from the motel with his best friend!  Woah.  That sucks even to think about it.  Again, the sad, sad story also has a good ending.  He is now happily married to a different girl and they have kids.  Same advice he gave to the first caller.

*     *     *     *     *

Looking back, fair or not fair, I think it is good to have experienced what it is like to be a dumpee.  Because we dumpees get to relate to some movies that dumpers just don’t get it.

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I See I Write

Google+ > Twitter + Facebook

My Google+ invite came in a good timing.  I am seldom an early adopter when it comes to technology.  I have yet to install a webcam for my computer.  When I first signed up for Google+, I was curious, in a healthily skeptical way.  The timing was good because as CNN has recently reported, some of us just need a reboot.  Facebook has served its purpose.  I have had a fun time interacting with friends whom I know, ‘friends’ whom I do not know online.  There has been a lot of time investment in building my social network.  Despite the good time I had, there is some discomfort in using Facebook.

Top of my concern is privacy issue and the lack of control over who should see the stuffs I write and the stuffs others write about me in Facebook in a micro level.  I could set up groups and fiddle with the access control.  But in real life, that is hardly practical.  For instance, I could say, none of my acquaintances are allowed to tag me into their pictures.  What if there is this one acquaintance who has this one great photograph that I wish I could have been tagged?  Or I could say, all my good friends are able to tag me into their pictures.  What if there is this one picture that I really do not wish to be tagged in spite of the good intent?  Sure I could remove the tag.  But most of the time, it is too late.  Do I want my  friends to be aware of my recent activity in participating in some of the political debates over other Facebook pages or the walls of my friends?  Some interactions are meant to be segregated.  I could tweak the security setup in Facebook to handle the situations as mentioned and more.  However, balancing being too open and too close in Facebook is never easy.

Then comes Google+.  It took me a while to set it up and get used to the way how G+ works.  Once I got through the initial hurdle, the first thing I notice is that friends in my circles are really my friends (hence the reboot).  Friends who I know of and am interested in reading what they share online.  I have complete control over how each of my message is shared – publicly, to a set of circles, or even down to the individuals.  Do I want to disallow resharing of what I write in G+?  Do I want to disable comments?  The decision is all mine to made, at the point of sharing, based on the circumstance.

The second thing I notice is that G+ promotes a more causal networking.  Let’s say I find an interesting topic and I participate in the discussion.  And I happen to like some of the comments one person has made.  I find him interesting and wish to hear more about what he shares on a regular basis.  In Facebook, I would need to add him as a friend.  But is he really a ‘friend’?  If I was him, would I want to confirm such a request?  In G+, I can add people into my circles.  They will be aware of my action.  But it is up to them if they wish to add me into theirs and potentially see some of their more private sharing.  In most cases, it does not have to be so.  I could be interested reading more about how Jenson Button feels before and after the race.  And what sports he does when he is not racing.  But I don’t think Button would have the time to read what I share online.

Just an example.

That brings up to the second part of this entry: Twitter.  I read that some start to complain having an extra social network to follow the same set of people and hear the same thing.  Yet another place to broadcast or promote their online presence.  To me, it is never an issue.  I use Twitter to follow news and gossips.  I use Facebook to keep track of what some of my friends do.  Once Google+ is open for business for the celebrities and company profiles, I suspect I would drop Twitter.  Because it is so much easier to zoom into the topics of my interest in G+ via circles.  The quality of sharing in G+ seems higher too because there is no limit in characters and we are free to edit the messages and comments after they are published.  As for Facebook, it may take longer for me to transit out of it because most of my friends are still clinging onto what may not seem broke to them.  I still occasionally drop by Facebook.  But the majority of my activity is on G+, for now.

It is still early to say if Google+ will be a success.  I certainly welcome a break from Facebook and have the opportunity to approach social networking in a fresh new way.  If you want a Google+ invite, you may drop me an email.

Circle me at http://gplus.to/wilfridwong