Category: My Music

Last weekend I had a stiff right shoulder. And because of this stiffness I got to appreciate how wonderful our shoulder joints are in terms of the degree of movement. If I had a stiff neck, life would have been a whole lot easier. I just need to move my head with my body pretty much like how Batman turns his head (you may wish to watch Batman to refresh your memory). With a stiff shoulder, there was an unforeseeable range of movement I could not do. Like trying to disengage the shower head that was hung above my head. I would feel the pain and my arm would just gave way. I must have hurt my shoulder through my intense exercise ritual.

Fortunately, I could still strum my guitar. Bored with the set of 9 songs I have memorised for our band’s upcoming live performance, I have decided to take the memory lane and play some old ones. There is a constant fear in me that I may forget some of the songs that I have written long time ago (as I have not got my old songs recorded). But then again, if there is a song I cannot remember of, which means I have not played that often, which means it is not so good a song, which means it deserves to be forgotten? (Noooooo!)

“Be My Sign” was written on June 24, 2003 – a 4-year old song exact to the month of June. Since I only record down the chords and the lyrics, I rely on my memory for the melody. I must have played the chords of the song ten times and I had no recollection on what the melody was like. If there are two virtues I have on top of the millions positive ones of mine (kidding … a few good one perhaps), that would be patience and perseverance. Slowly, the melody reappeared from nowhere and …

… Oh my God! I still love the verses but the chorus was … bad. I still remember Cynthia’s first comment to the song – there is no oomph. Ouch. And it took me 4 years to realise that.

But fear not. Now that I am relatively older and relatively wiser, time to rewrite the chorus. In a way, the feeling I had four years ago is still valid to this exact moment I am in. I am still waiting for that “sign” from high above to tell me where to go and what to do next. I avoided doing too much rewrite to the original lyrics. The first thing I did was to increase the tempo of the song from 72 to 80 making it a little bit upbeat. Next, I shifted the key up from Em to F#m and gave the chorus a surprise key shift from F#m to Am. I then rewrote the chorus with a hook in mind supported by the new melody and chords that give it a bang in the spirit. After that, I gently rewrote the bridge from shifting the key down to F#m and then back to Am. As the song climaxes, I changed from 1 chord per bar as heard in the bridge to 2 chords per bar in order to give the audience an illusion that the beat of the song has doubled. But it is not. I would imagine Jason’s solo guitar going crazy at this point and the chorus or rather the hook will then descend into this madness to end the song with a high note.

Gosh. I got excited just by writing it. The new version of the lyrics is printed below.

As for our band’s progress. Our drummer Lester is now busy with his new baby as well as house hunting so we may need to think of alternatives. Meanwhile, my guitarist Jason is trying to do drum programming and if he succeeds, we will go for recording and possibly releasing the songs via the Internet. And if we manage to find a music video director and someone to film our video, we are heading to YouTube and MySpace. Gosh, I wish I could take back what I said about patience being one of my virtues. For the time being, three of us will continue to practice and aim to do an unplugged open-mic live performance somewhere in Singapore.

Oh dear … yet another long blog. I really should find ways to condense what is in my head.

BE MY SIGN

Verse 1
Day after day staring at the sky
Waiting for that sign that will change my life
Little by little I melt inside
Whispering voices control my mind
Days pass by lying by my side
I wait for that one sign
Bit by bit I’m torn apart
Won’t you come by open up my heart

Chorus
Won’t you open up my mind won’t you take me high above the sky?
Won’t you open up my wind and tell me who am I inside?
I’ve been waiting for that sign falling from the sky
Won’t you open up my mind?

Verse 2
Night after night I weep and cry
I’ve lost that hope used to live inside
Inside my heart inside my mind
I face the wall no matter how I try
I try to run I try to hide
These pills I take paralyze my mind
Night after night staring at the stars
Waiting for that sign that will change my mind

Chorus
Won’t you open up my mind won’t you take me high above the sky?
Won’t you open up my mind and tell me who am I inside?
I’ve been waiting for that sign falling from the sky
Won’t you open up my mind?

Bridge
Won’t you take me to your side?
Won’t you let me come inside?
Won’t you come into my life?
Won’t you be my sign? (repeat bridge)

Ending
Won’t you open up my mind won’t you take me high above the sky
Won’t you open up my mind and tell me who am I inside? (repeat ending)

Note: Originally written on June 24, 2003 with some restoration work done on June 8, 2007.

Copyright © 2007 by Wilfrid K. F. Wong. All Rights Reserved.

There are times when my so-called social life evolves around … online chat. And there are times like these couple of days when my social life suddenly becomes … colorful. Last Friday I had lunch with my old friend EL and gosh, I have not met her for a long time. She has taken a one year sabbatical and did many things that kind of makes me reflect: have I been productive enough during my own so-called “sabbatical”? (Erm, probably not.) EL got me thinking of entering into the academic field and to make a difference to the younger generation. Subsequently meeting my buddy KF the muscleman has changed my perspective on teaching as his wife is into that line of work. I guess it is always good to chat with different people and gather different perspectives however confusing it can be at times.

Imagine a party of men and ladies of these origins by birth – Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Holland, India, Indonesia, and Hong Kong – gathered together for a good time. That Friday night drink was probably one of the most diverse group I have encountered for a long time. And seven of us have one thing in common – we are all consultants. Mixing with a group of consultants kind of makes me missing my consulting life a great deal. Perhaps going back to my old trade is not too bad an idea?

Then I met with my buddy KW – a Singaporean who is now stationed in Hong Kong – this afternoon. Tons of business ideas we have brainstormed on and maybe, just maybe, owning a tiny enterprise in the face of this Earth is not a bad idea. KW and I am still toying with this idea of writing a travelogue cum inspirational cum photographic book. I am keen to really translate all these years of brainstorming into something tangible. We shall see. And as KW and I walked to where I parked my car, we bumped into WC who just finished his last day of work moving onto another organization. So much has happened in just a few days.

One day prior to that crazy, crazy Friday, I have written a song titled “Look Inside”. It is still unfinished at the time of the publication of this blog. I am sure what happened these couple of days could be translated into the bridge that I desperately needed for the song. Friends have been asking me: have you been painting? Nope. Inspiration has run dry but I am sure I will pick up my paint brush pretty soon. Others have asked if I have continued writing songs. I will never give up on songwriting. Put me and my guitar together equals to a creative world of my own.

LOOK INSIDE

If you take a look what lies within
If you dare to open up your mind … look inside
The rain may stain your gentle skin
But there is one place no one can find … look inside

If you hear a voice echoes in your head
Confusing you what is right and what is wrong
And if you don’t hear a sound in this numbing void
Look inside, look inside, look inside
Look inside, look inside, look inside

There are many daunting paths I’ve walked
Tripped and fell too many times
In this awkward wayward state of mind
Sometimes I wish I can fly
Away from these questions in my head
Away from this mess that I have
I know how you feel
Just look inside like I do whenever I am lost

Copyright © 2007 by Wilfrid K. F. Wong. All Rights Reserved.

Jason my guitarist often comments to me that though he is drawn to the darkness of my music, for the good of general public consumption (as we are planning for an open-mic performance soon), it may be hard to hold the attention of the crowd if the entire set of songs are of the same dark mood. This triggered a slice of memory on what my buddy Mark has asked me months ago when I shared with him one of the recording of our jamming sessions – do I ever write a happy song? I look deep into my collection and I can hardly find any happy song inside. I don’t think I am a depressing kind of person. Just that my creativity core is tuned to some of the less happy events that happen within me and around me. I often see hope in tragedies and when I compose my songs, though the mood is dark, I have always tried to drop a line or two of hope inside – even if it is a bitter decision such as walking away from a relationship or keep on praying and don’t lose faith.

In my previous blog, My 151st Song – Your Eyes, I broadcast the song lyrics and I have to admit, there isn’t much hope within the song. It is a representation of the state of mind of someone who has recently experienced a broken heart in whatever ways (this world and beyond). I met up with one of my friends and she said the lyrics is “intense” after chancing upon the lyrics in my blog. Cynthia said that it is “dark” and “fibrous” and those eyes are definitely not hers (she often uses the word “fibrous” to describe a song with complex structure). As I shared with Cynthia the increasing pressure for me to write some happy songs for public consumption, she questioned the need as she does enjoy my dark songs immensely. Fans like Cynthia are hard to come by so I have tried something new. I gave “Your Eyes” a lyrics remake. It is not the same pair of eyes anymore as the topic has changed. I cannot write or perform any songs that I cannot relate so here is my attempt on a happier song – with a different pair of eyes.

Tell me, which one do you prefer?

I have this dream that haunts me from time to time. These eyes that I cannot describe. At times illusions can be so real while reality can be so fake. I picked up my guitar wanting to write a mid tempo song. And there it is, a song that flows effortlessly. I am blessed with inspirations but yet inspirations haunt me. I wish there is peace in whatever I seek, whatever I believe.

If you wish to share this song with me, you have got to be up close and personal with me. For there will be years before I can master what I create.

YOUR EYES

If looks can kill, I want to know
If there is something, I need to know
Since you’ve been gone, this darkness falls
Since there is nothing that I can hold

You are a drug, I can’t rid of
I am a thug looming in your lawn
No I can’t trust how I feel no more
I can’t adjust and I need more

There is something about the look in your eyes
They pierce right through my helpless soul
There is something about the look in your eyes
They are making me to yearn for more
I cannot rest till I can feel The tears in your eyes
How you feel inside
If you were me crawling deep inside
To have that glimpse of your eyesThe tears in your eyes
How you feel inside
If you were me craving deep inside
To have that glimpse of your eyes

There isn’t much worth living for
I am doomed point of no return
I am nothing without you by my side
I can be someone if I can see your eyes

Your eyes, they pierce my soul
Your eyes, I am longing for
Your eyes, all that I dream of
Your eyes, I can’t see no more

Copyright © 2007 by Wilfrid K. F. Wong. All Rights Reserved.

The last song I composed was back in December 2006. Guess I have been busy with the exercise rituals, new hobby of oil painting, practicing for an open mic performance, and to tour Australia. All these while I ponder at the back of my head where has my songwriting creativity juice gone to. This morning, I planned to have a jog, do some oil painting, and head to town for movie. However, this melody somehow stuck in my head during shower and wouldn’t go away. And I have this theme of “time” I wished to write about. I set up my home recording studio and the chords just flew naturally. Thinking I was up for an easy ride but I could not go beyond the first line for hours. I was so tempted to down a bottle of beer to get my creativity juice going (it helps to relax at times). Perseverance wins I guess.

Some of you may wonder why I do not broadcast the actual song demo instead of posting the lyrics. My emphasis in songwriting is always on lyrics and to me, the raw form of the song – lyrics – is like grapes. Grapes take time and effort to mature and blend into bottles of wine – the actual mix down of various tracks of music instruments and vocals. And what I wish is share is either the grapes or the bottles of wine and nothing in between. That’s why. Besides, there are copyright issues that require me to publicly broadcast the song in person before I can attempt to claim the rights to them. Tedious.

“Currency Of Time” is the 150th song I have written. That reminds me to go out for a celebration tonight and all expenses paid by my Movie Review Squad.

Currency Of Time

Sometimes when we try too hard to live ahead of time
Things that so eager to try
And now these steps we take, running out of breath
How we wish to stop … and travel back in time

The singularity of time
This metal with a ticking sound
A rhythm never ceases
This pulse we feel inside

And all these years we have traded
And all these sands of time
The fate we caressed
These choices we have made

The currency of time
Something we all lost count
Into the river we pour, flowing slowly to the seaFrom the river of serenity
To the raging mouth of the ocean
The currency of time far beyond our reach

The currency of time, the question deep inside
When we close our eyes, caused this fountain to subside
Stop … listen to our hearts, hear this sound of time
Does it sound like coins falling onto the ground?

Copyright © 2007 by Wilfrid K. F. Wong. All Rights Reserved.

What a wonderful long weekend of 4 days! These days after freeing myself from my gaming hobby, I suddenly have lots of free time for book reading, movie/TV/DVD watching, vocal practice, and most importantly song writing. Each year I have a soft target to achieve. That is, to write 1 song per month. That works out to be 12 songs per year. To me, song writing is a discipline pretty much like writing books. You have to keep writing to get better.

Though my fingers were all soar even with those nylon strings, I have written the 12th song of this year (lyrics below). Very satisfied with the result. Since I have the tendency to churn out more songs towards the end of the year (perhaps the whole holiday mood and emotion), I am hoping to close this year with a couple more (15 for year 2005 and year 2003 stood the highest number at 35).

Author’s note: In a lazy afternoon, I was alone at home. Sober. My fingers were soar but I have this urge to write a song. The song started off as a ballad with guitar intro but it turned into a song with higher tempo. Lyrically, I was trying to explore the fact that time does not heal everything. There are still scars that are left behind.

Scars That Left Behind

These are the days I want to let go
These are the nights that shouldn’t exist
Don’t want to know why I did the things I did to you and me and everyone else

Supersonic state of mind
Driving too fast crashing too hard
These are the things I did to you and me and everyone else

These are the wounds that can’t be healed
These are scars that left behind

Banging my head onto these doors they are closed in front of my face
Lost control to this spiral pull that sucks me into this
This black and white emptiness evaporates the meaning of it all
This black and white emptiness holds me back
I have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run to
I have no one to run to, no one to hold onto

These are the dogs that won’t let go
Throughout the night wherever I go
They bite me hard on the things I did to you and me and everyone else

Momentary lapse of reason
I should have thought before I fall
These are the things I did to you and me and everyone else

These are the days I wish to erase
These are the pain I feel everyday

These scars that left behind, every time I crash too hard
These scars that left behind, remind me the things I did …
… to you and me and everyone else, I try to look away
I have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run to
I have no one to run to, no one to hold onto

Copyright © 2006 by Wilfrid K. F. Wong. All Rights Reserved.