So finally CC is on her own. But as expected (not as hoped) she becomes quite distant from me. What can I possibly do?
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Category: Diary
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Know My Place
Sunday, that is. Forced myself to wake up this morning. Accompanied the maid and bought some household stuffs. Went over BUN and worked a while. CC called me back to chop up the chicken. We all have a lunch gathering. Then I went back to work a while and they all watched VCD.
Seeing CC and her boyfriend being so close hurt me so much. But I must always remember I am the third party and not the one in her heart.
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To Be or To Be Not
To be frank, let’s hope that I have already hit the lowest point of my emotion. And I shall see a bright and clear path soon.
Easy said that done but at least I shall try to seek true happiness.
And not at all simple.
Got to sort out my work, my love, my friends and my family.
To some people, I may be lucky. To be single and lead a non-commit life. Free to see any body I like, free to do whatever I like.
The bottom line is: I have to experience as much as possible when I am young.
My heartbreaks, my disappointing role in the project, the slipping of my friends, the family back in Hong Kong I need to take care of really soon. The question is: shall I emerge in my non-prosperous love life, probably pursuing something that will end up like soap bubble? To be or not to be …
But which way to go?
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C’est La Vie
Last night I have stayed up very late Powerpointing. And today’s training was so successful and they applauded at the end.
Not bad, huh?
Seeing CC and her boyfriend so close to each other hurts me so much.
C’est la vie.
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How I Miss …
One good news is that I have finally be able to compile all the Replication programs.
And we went for a project dinner with the AC team on third floor. Very nice restaurant and we were sitting near to one of the partner from Australia.
In the lift, I gave CC good hug and a kiss. Damn, I miss those feelings.
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Weekend in Singapore
Gone back to Singapore for the weekend. Living without time is really something like “break the habit”. More or less, I have achieved what I wanted to do in Singapore. How much have I spent? I hope is something less than SGD 700.
I think I was very depressed over the weekend. Even I went out with Annie on Saturday, I was not happy. But right now, I feel a lot better. I have got what I want to have. All my CDs and books, the kettle and coffee machine, all went through the custom. I hope I will be happy for another six months.
After starting reading the book “Mars and Venus on a Date”, I realise that if I close my heart (i.e. still feel very sad over my last heartbreak), I will not be able to find anyone close “the right one”. As for CC, I need to go through the 5 steps probably. Or do I want to mess it up again? I guess not.
Have a happy life in Jakarta, Wilfrid!
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Lost
I lost my watch tonight.
What happened to me this year? I have lost my first girlfriend after 4 years of relationship. I now lost my watch which has been with me for 4 years.
At that very moment, I am afraid of losing anything at all. In life, you just cannot take things for granted. What if I lose CC?
Oh God, I just don’t want to think about it.
I need time. I just need time.
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Uncertainty
It has been quite a long time since I have become so moody during work. There is so much uncertainty between me and CC. Sometimes I cannot feel that loving feeling any more. But why? We went to Walmart together and it all seems to sparkle again. I hope we can still ‘sparkle’ after her boyfriend has left.
God, I love that girl.
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Jakarta Not A Bad Place After All
What an interesting weekend. I went off alone to venture Jakarta. After all, it is not such a bad place. Went to Gym and met with CC and her boyfriend. Man, I miss that girl.
Called up JP and had a nice chat (in Cantonese) …
Wonder what will happen between me and CC.
Long time haven’t logged down what I have done. Well, I just go crazy over CC and I hope she loves me too. Besides the … I have in my life, we feel very happy and comfortable with each other. Just that her boyfriend has arrived in Jakarta, I seldom get to hold and kiss her. And I really miss her nowadays. Last night I could not sleep. Life has once again become so unpredictable.