Category: Whacky Thoughts

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Whacky Thoughts

I Think I Got It Why Bailey Wants To Wake Up So Early Every Morning

I must confess that I don’t get Bailey all the time. Like why he puts his paws onto mine when I cuddle him. He seems to really enjoy it when I rub his chest and the back of his ears. He would freeze and put his paws onto me.

Bailey really enjoys a good cuddle.

Bailey wakes up really early. If it was up to him, he would want everyone in the household to wake up at 5 am every morning together with him. Do things together.

I often wonder why. Today I have an epiphany. And that kind of makes me feel sad.

The average lifespan of a dog is perhaps 12 years. That is not really a long time on Earth. If I were to live only 12 years, I would have made every day counts. Like waking up early every day and making the best out of every single day.

In that way, I kind of got it why Bailey wants to wake up so early every morning.

Because to him, every day counts.

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Whacky Thoughts

Introducing: Your Very Own Password Vault™ For Life

Call it foresight, more than a decade ago, I knew one day I would be overwhelmed by the sheer number of user IDs and passwords I have to memorize.  As of today, I have over 70 profiles.  Each comes with a set of user ID and password, security question and what not.  I try my best to keep my passwords somewhat unique, with the discipline to reset them regularly.  It is a lot of work.  But I don’t see other viable options.

Now, I don’t have a super memory.  And I don’t trust some third party online applications that promise to keep my credentials safe.  When it comes to online credentials, there is only one person in this world whom I can trust: Me.

Nothing beats pen-and-paper when it comes to recording of your online credentials.  You too may use this form of mine.  Note: Patent pending.  If Apple can patent a rectangular, I am pretty sure a form can be patented.

For years, I manage my online credentials using pen-and-paper.  There are tons of benefits.  Off the top of my head, here are a few.

  • You will never forget your credentials.  Ever.
  • You will remember when you last reset your passwords.
  • You can afford to be really creative in dreaming up unique passwords across your profiles.
  • In the event of emergency or unforeseeable circumstances, your loved ones can still retrieve your profiles.

To get started, all you need to do is click onto the image above and download the original image.  Then follow theses simple steps below.

  1. Copy the above 3″ x 2″ image and paste it on a A4 size document.  It should be able to fit 9 cards per page.
  2. Print them out and cut them up into 3″ x 2″ (or slightly smaller).
  3. Buy a deck of blank name cards.  This should cost less than S$4.
  4. Glue the 3″ x 2″ printouts onto the blank name cards.

It should not take more than half an hour to prepare a deck of, say, 100 cards.  Next, simply fill them up and store them alphabetically.  You could use a name card holder to store your cards.  If you are paranoid about your housemates who may pry into your Password Vault™, you can always lock it up inside a safe, together with all your important documents like letters from your ex’es.

I love my pen-and-paper Password Vault™ and I have been using this method to record my online credential for years.  You too should give it a try today.

OK. I fill one up to illustrate how it works. For security questions, you can put them under note section.

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Whacky Thoughts

Sea Turtles, I “AMP” You!

It is time like this when I feel like I am staring in the movie “Troy”.  Not as Brad Pitt of course, but rather one of the many soldiers who gets his point-one second of camera time.   But that is OK.  As someone who is reborn into this new generation of whoever participates wins, I am happy to contribute, fully aware of the likely outcome.   For yet another contest this time invited by HP, I hope the panel of judges will get what I am trying to say (sometimes even I don’t).  We know how the last contest turned out.  So I am going to stick with the drawing bits and leave out the music bits.   The title of this drawing is “A Sea Turtle Butchered – What Santa could do with the help from Wilfrid who in turn needs some money from HP to make a difference”.

One folklore goes something like this: For many years, the inhabitants of the underwater village Da’Touk Thump have lived a relatively peaceful time.  They spend most of the time frolicking in the sea, eating jelly fish, and mowing sea grass.   Once in a while, some females get knocked up and they take care of their “business” on dry land, away from Da’Touk Thump.   No one knows why eggs have to be laid in a place so far away.   But the sea turtles are not complaining.  They treat it as a seasonal holy pilgrimage.   Religion always manages to explain all the unknown unknowns, even for the sea turtles.

No one knows how the bipeds come into existence.   One sea turtle legend goes something like this: Once upon a time, there was a royal dispute in Da’Touk Thump.  Two princesses were fighting for the throne and eventually, Princess Ho’Mos-Api was ousted out of the palace.   Feeling the rage inside her turtle shell, she heaved herself out of the sea and vowed never to return.   Once she reached the shore, with super-turtle effort, Ho’Mas-Api yanked herself out of the shell.  And the unthinkable happened; she began to walk on two legs!   Over the years, the descendents of Ho’Mos-Api have populated the shore and named the village Aa’Rr Pop.  One day, they discovered fire.   Since then, they have incorporated sunny-side-up sea turtle egg and roast sea turtle steak into their menu of fruits de mer.  It was a sad day for the Da’Touk Thump inhabitants.

One morning, Tortu’Aga-Mari realizes that she is pregnant.  And she prays to the gods.  A rabbit appears and says, “Say no more!   I hear you!  Many times I’ve told you sea turtles the importance of abstinence.”  “What should I do now?” Tortu’Aga-Mari implores.   The rabbit pulls out a magical collar from his furry chest and says, “My child, you have two choices.   Wear this on your neck.  You may still face the choppers of the Aa’Rr Pop villagers but the wounds inflicted upon you will be amplified in a mysterious way.   However, if you choose to wear this around your tummy, all the fertilized eggs inside you will vanish.  But no sea turtle will bear any eggs in Da’Touk Thump – not today and never in the future!”

A hero or a zero, what is it going to be?  Visualizing how to take off the turtle suit is tedious enough.  Obviating the entire turtle race?  That is genocide in a turtle sense.  Tortu’Aga-Mari  gives it a little thought and has decided to wear the collar onto her neck.   At nightfall, Tortu’Aga-Mari tiptoes under a starry night onto the dry land where many of the sea turtles lay their eggs and some end up on a dinning table.   The bipeds are waiting.  Tortu’Aga-Mari does not stand a chance.   As the turtle-sacrifice is being chopped into pieces, the collar works its magic; all the women back in the Aa’Rr Pop village magically feel the blade and disintegrate into chucks of flesh.  Each time a piece of Tortu’Aga-Mari comes off, pieces of the same proportion come off from the women in the village.  There is bloodbath at the shore; and there is bloodbath in the Aa’Rr Pop village.   The men happily chopping the poor turtle have no idea that they are indirectly chopping their own women back home.   Soon, news of the village travels to the ears of the bipeds at the shore; scent of the shore intrudes the Da’Touk Thump inhabitants in the sea.   Shocked, the bipeds return to their village moan at their mishap; the sea turtles swim all the way from the sea and stare at a bucket full of turtle meat, shocked.

There are many versions of how this folklore ends.  Amongst all, this is my favorite: Out of nowhere, a rabbit materializes at the shore and screams, “Say no more!  I hear you all!”  The rabbit curiously looks into the bucket and in his surprise, sees a pounding heart.   The heart of Tortu’Aga-Mari.  He digs his furry arm into the bloody bucket, stirring vigorously as though he is a chef marinating the meat.   The sea turtles gasp at the scene and cry in silence.  The rabbit clicks his tongue, rolls his eyes to the night sky, and says, “I still hear you!”  After what seems like an eternity, in one swift motion, the rabbit pulls something out from the bucket.   It is the magical collar.  In one majestic gesture, the rabbit carefully wraps the pounding heart with the collar.  A blinding light immediately radiates to all directions, momentarily dazzles the sea turtle audience.  Metal zippers grow from the collar weaving their ways along the wounds of the mutilated limps and body of turtle-sacrifice.  In no time, Tortu’Aga-Mari becomes whole and in one orgasmic ending, the final piece of the collar – or what is left of it – permeated by the prayers of millions of sea turtles wraps around the newly mended Tortu’Aga-Mari, hardens and becomes a golden, grandiose shell.   The sea turtles are in awe of the miracle, a miracle they have unknowingly partaken.   The rabbit lets go a sigh of triumph and smiles, “My work here is done!”   And poof, he disappears.  Tortu’Aga-Mari is reborn.

*     *     *     *     *

Both my drawing and this posting are inspired by the CNN Hero of 2010 nominee, Oscar Aranda.   Oscar in the category of defending the planet does not win.   Voters seem to be touched more by the thousands of girls saved from sex slavery than the many mother sea turtles saved and thousands of baby sea turtles released back to the sea.  HP wants to know how I would make my Christmas holiday better than before (or in their technical lingo: How I “AMP” my Christmas).   With HP’s full financial aid, I am happy to spend two to three weeks in Mexico with Western Ecological Society, document the sea turtle preservation effort, and share with the online community my photos and journals.  Keep a look out on HP Facebook page.  I will need your votes to become Brad Pitt for a change.

PS. No sea turtles or turtles of any kind are harmed during the drawing of this featured picture.  I wish I could credit the folklore to some ancient civilizations that worship sea turtles, like the Moche people of ancient Peru.  But any resemblance to real life creatures alive or dead is purely coincidental.

External Links: An article by CNN on Oscar Aranda, Western Ecological Society Website (in English)

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Whacky Thoughts

Summer Blog Episode 9 – Shortsightedness Versus Spelling Handicap (Final Episode)

I too am shortsighted.  So I am not here to poke fun at you, if you are or know someone who is shortsighted too.

Looking at the number of people around me who require optical aid or surgical treatment to see properly, I cannot help but to wonder from time to time what would happen if we were today magically sent back to the Stone Age where there is no such optical device or surgical technique to correct our flawed vision?

Most of us would be eaten by lions and tigers, wolves and wild boars.  If we were not eaten by the animals, we would have fallen to our death by stepping onto the wrong stone while fleeing.  Most of us would be mating without having a clear idea of what our partners looked like.  Until it was too late.  And prayed that our partners were not from the same sex.

Most of us would not be able to survive for long, set aside passing the genes to the next generation.  Evolution would place us – the shortsighted people – out of this Earth, which could be a good thing.  Because in time, in this game of survival, our population would once again be populated with human beings with good eye sights, who would be able to see the lions and tigers, wolves and wild boars, as well as those whom we would sleep and procreate with.

These days, I too cannot live without a spellchecker.  So I am not here to poke fun at you, if spellchecker is as important to you as it is to me.  I am unsure if the growing inability to see properly as a species is of the same magnitude of us being more reliance on spellcheckers.  I think in time to come, most of us would not be able to spell properly.

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Whacky Thoughts

Summer Blog Episode 8 – I Am Your New Minister For Transport

I had a dream.  I had become the new Minister for Transport.

*     *     *     *     *

Dear citizens, I have great news to announce.  As a small child, when I see that an average citizen has to pay up to $100,000 to buy an average Japanese car, I see something is not right.  For a wealthy country like ours whose citizens pay $100 to watch World Cup at home, we deserve better.  Therefore, I hereby propose to abolish the car tax system as well as the certificate of entitlement (better known as COE) that unfairly inflates the price of a car.  I am also proposing to ban the import of the cheap cars.  To retain the existing Cat A (car engine below 1,600cc) and Cat B (car engine above) COE concept, we shall have two types of cars on the road – Porsche 911 for the average citizens and Ferrari for the elite citizens.  Trust me, I have seen the numbers.  It works out more or less the same as what our citizens are paying today.

Some of you may challenge that without a quota or COE biding system – like we have today – it is hard to control the number of cars in our country.  Let’s look at it this way.  Even with such a COE biding system, for reasons beyond me, we still have problem in controlling the number of cars in our country.  So what gives?

Some of you may express concern that our government will miss out a lot of revenue from the inflated car price.  Oh please.  We make more with Electric Road Pricing (ERP) than you can imagine.  There are also some jokers who get miserably lost in around Singapore River during the ERP hours and get charged extra.  Jokers like me.

Look at it the bright side.  It is good for our image.  Imagine rows and rows of nothing but Porsche 911 and Ferrari (OK, I may consider bringing in Porsche Cayenne for those who insist on a large family car).  In the spirit of promoting Formula One, I would also propose to disable all the speed cameras when we are hosting the event.

*     *     *     *     *

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Whacky Thoughts

Summer Blog Episode 2 – A Harem Full Of Girls And A Hard Disk Full Of Music

Cynthia often pokes fun at my ears.  She says my ears are promiscuous.  I used to buy many compact disks regularly.  My favorite pastime since the day when compact disk format was made popular was to camp at record stores, staring at the nicely wrapped disks trying to decide if I should buy just one more.  It was an obsession, before the time when consumers rely on listening stations and online reviews to decide if they should part their hard earned money in exchange for a forty minutes of an unknown piece of music.

I suppose there is an ounce of truth for Cynthia to choose that descriptor for my ears.  I suppose if you have a few girlfriends to juggle at the same time, you probably would not have a good memory on who they are, not even their names.  At times when I listen to a beautiful tune playing on the radio, I would turn to Cynthia and asked, “I think I have that song in my music collection.  But I can’t recall which one it is.”  Cynthia would give me a standard reply that my ears are promiscuous.

What happens to the days when we could remember the lyrics and sing along with the songs?

When I share with the people around me that my phone comes with a legally unlimited music download service, some are surprised while others cannot relate.  When I walk into a record store these days, I am no longer in my usual euphoric state.  The entire recent collection, I almost have it.  OK, I recognize the album covers, music that I have downloaded with a click of a button.  But I doubt I have listened to all.  It does feel good though knowing that some albums are inside my computer’s hard disk somewhere, ready to be listened to when my ears are free.

I reckon the idea of a harem full of girls is not to sleep with all, but keep some to look at.

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Whacky Thoughts

Life As A Business Analyst – A Comic Relief

Here is where I need to put a little disclaimer.  While the following write-up is inspired by things that I see and do during my nine-to-five job, all the characters and events are fictional and by no mean resemble to anyone or anything in particular.  That means to say, if you think that I am poking fun at you, it is purely your imagination!

*     *     *     *     *

Job titles often mean little.  When people ask me what I do for a living, I would tell them that I write to pay the bills.  On one side, I have a bunch of buyers representing a corporation who have the money and think they know what they want.  On the other side, I have a bunch of producers who have the skills and able to procure and create what they think the buyers want.  Think, is the keyword here.  It is near to impossible to transform thoughts into words.  Or collective thoughts into words that everyone can interpret in the same way (think about religion).  The buyers are busy talking.  The producers are busy crafting.  As for me, my job is to articulate the requirements in black-and-white so that the producers produce what the buyers want.  Or think they want.

All good requirements begin with something visionary, something bombastic.  Why?  It is simple.  Within a corporation, resource is limited.  In order to convince the shareholders to fund your great idea, it has to stand out from your peers.  It has to be inspiring.  If you can relate to the following illustrative story, you have worked in a corporation for far too long.

*     *     *     *     *

It begins with a one-liner that I have crafted after a brainstorming session with the buyers that represent our corporation.  It says: To equip our top team with vehicles of prestige and unparalleled power.  The buyers seem happy with that.  It is a bit vague, but who am I to complain?  I take this document to the engineers of our corporation and immediately, they frown.  One asks, “What do you mean by unparalleled power?  Can you be more specific?”.  Very well, I haven’t given much thought.  I know nuts about cars of unparalleled power.  If we start to ask the buyers about the required down force and aerodynamic development, the average damping of vibration after bumps, the type of engine (V8, V10, or V12), and maximum power and torque, I am sure we will lose them.  What shall we do?  I know we can’t afford a Bugatti Veyron.  What about a Ferrari?  With the end goal in mind, the engineers and I do a bit of reverse-engineering.  The requirement now says: To equip our top team with vehicles of prestige and unparalleled power in excess of 600 horsepower.  The engineers seem happy that they do not need to produce a car that is impossible to make.  The buyers would be happy not to read too much into the technical details.  In a strange way, our buyers can visualize horses better than engine design.

The next day, we present our ideas to the buyers.  They love the Ferrari.  Out of nowhere, one buyer talks about how the bumpy road is near his home.  More chip in on the terrible road condition in some selective areas I have not even heard of.  The meeting turns into a pandemonium.  I attempt to quiet the crowd and offer, “Well, it is a Ferrari.  Just go over the speed humps slowly.  Or take a different route!”.

One buyer attempts to wear the hat of an engineer (uh-oh) and asks, “Can’t we modify the car and attach a set of bigger wheels?”  “Like a custom build design?” I asked.  What about aesthetic?  Will it even work?  The engineer replies, “We can custom build anything“.  All the buyers nod with delight and as the presentation is drawing to an end, another buyer asks, “How many can fit into a Ferrari?”

Good question, how many do you need?  It has been a long meeting and no one wants to think anymore.  “There are some pretty powerful SUVs,” I offer.  But no, they love the Ferrari, with custom big wheels.  “Can’t we have an extension that fits as many as we want?”  I look at the engineers and here comes the standard reply, “We can custom build anything“.  The meeting ends with a refined requirement that says: To equip our top team with vehicles of prestige and unparalleled power in excess of 600 horsepower that can handle all road conditions and fits a group.  In my mind, I think of a limo, an elongated version of a beautiful Ferrari.

*     *     *     *     *

After some intense prototyping exercise, our engineers come up with the following design.

And the buyers are shocked by what they see.

*     *     *     *     *

A few months later, before we roll out our final product to our top team, I have received an urgent call from the legal and compliance department informing me that we have a non-compliance issue.  How so, I ask.  You are missing a few stickers at the back of the trailer, the caller replies.  By law, we have to display how many passengers at most we carry inside the trailer.  That is odd.  So I make a visit to the engineers and investigate what has gone wrong.

“You have not specified what is inside the trailer and we assume that we are carrying a bunch of monkeys.  We don’t need a sticker for that,” an engineer explains.  “Why would we do that?!  Just doesn’t make sense!”  “Since our buyers have no clue how big or what the group is, we called up Ferrari and asked if their engines are powerful enough to satisfy our needs.”  “And they replied?”  “They said: Our prancing horse can pull a zoo of monkeys with no sweat!”

“Since when we take requirement from our suppliers?!”, I ask in desperation.  The engineer shrugs, “Since the day we define what unparalleled power is?”.  “And by the way”, he continues, “we have to put a 60 kph sticker at the back of the car by law because of the trailer.”  “That is an awfully slow car with an imposed limit of 60 kph,” I protest.  He shrugs again and says,”We ask for power, not speed, yes?”

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Diary Reflection Whacky Thoughts

32 Weeks Have Passed And I Now Have My To-do List

Recently, I read an entry from one of my friend’s private blog.  It is kind of private because I promise her long time ago that I wouldn’t make a link into her site.  She said, six months have passed and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do.  And she has another six months to figure that out.

That inspires me to think: August is here, what have I done so far?  My friends ask me what happens to my band and I go … erm.  They ask if I still write songs and I go … erm.  What happen to that association?  Do you still paint?  I haven’t seen you for ages, what have you been doing?

Erm.

I update my Facebook status often.  Often on what I plan to do.  I reckon if I write something in public – like in here or in any social networking site – I am committed to something.  And there is a higher chance that something gets done, which is better than always thinking of doing something that never get done.

So from now till December 31, I am committed to do the followings.  All of the followings.  Items one, to seven.

1. Do up my MySpace page and put a song or two inside (est. effort: 40 hrs)

I love my band.  If it was up to me, I would set up a practice or recording session every weekend.  Maybe we shall have a summer break and a Christmas break.  But other than that, we should meet up regularly and jam.  Because I believe that any serious hobby warrants a once a week practice.  Like my Spanish lessons.  The reality is, we meet only once in two months, three months.

And if it was up to me, I would like to do some decent recording and share with the public.  But my [lower] standard is not the same as some of my band mates.  I am a blogger.  I produce contents on a near daily basis.  I am happy to share the demo musical works with my readers regularly.  Keep the engagement going.  To hear some feedback, and to grow.  Especially when that CD quality band recording seems so impossible to attain given our pace.  Time to do some solo works.  More like an incubator of for the band, at my personal turbo pace (everything in life is relative).

2. Finish digitalizing my CD collection (est. effort: 24 hrs)

As of today, I have already digitalized 11,127 music tracks.  Just keep going!  Don’t stop!

3. Clear the photo back log (est. effort: 75 hrs)

I would love to visit the Singapore Zoo and take some pictures but I don’t feel like doing so.  Because I have such a huge back log to clear.  The good news is that I have established some kind of Sunday rhythm to spend some time with the photo processing and categorization work.

4. Properly tag my 1,100+ blog entries (est. effort: 24 hrs)

Tagging is a new concept for me.  I put my entries into fixed categories, year after year.  Recently, I discover that there is something called tagging, alongside with categories.  I may be messy in real life.  But I love structures.  So I will have to go through each entry one by one and tag them nicely.

5. Spanish!  Onto Lower Intermediate and read a Spanish book (est. effort: 24 hrs + ?? hrs)

After 20 lessons of Beginner level, 20 lessons of Elementary level, Cynthia and I are heading to the Lower Intermediate class.  The date is set: August 25th.  But there is a catch.  We have to pass the examination on August 22nd.  That is hard!  Super hard!  I am really not good at the language department.  But I will try.

About that Spanish book … we shall see.

6. Quick recording of all my 158 songs (est. effort: 158 hrs)

Year 1994, I wrote my first song.  I reckon I still remember most if not all my 158 songs.  However, I know one day my memory may fade.  And some of those songs may be lost forever.  Now, that’s sad.  In view of this rather probable rather depressing reality, I have always wanted to record all my work.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  I tend to spend time rewriting the parts that didn’t work, readjusting the key of the song, and on top of that, being a perfectionist, I wanted to do some decent recording.  That project didn’t last.

So now, I have reset my goal.  I need some quick and dirty recording.  Get it over and done with.  Some sort of documentation.  And then, I can pick ones that I like and do a better job.  Have them posted to MySpace (see point #1) for public sharing.

7. Seek direction on that blogger association I am associated with

I have to find an answer to that question: Where are we heading?  I am looking forward to seeing a new team.  Either way, my 1 year tenure will be up, after this year end.  A toast to all-good-things.

*     *     *     *     *

Wow, a total of 344 hours span over the remaining 20 weeks.  Now you know why I need a more balanced working life.  And unlike some of you, I am not inspired to work that extra hours for the big bucks plus promotion (otherwise, why would you trade more time with the same amount of reward?).  If I can complete all of the above before 2009 ends, I can start 2010 with a much lighter load.

On a separate note, one day I was really excited setting up my N97 as a web server – a future looking solution from Nokia Beta Labs.  What is more interesting is how people react to this ‘concept solution’.  One friend listened with interest and immediately, you can see his mind was working fast and he nodded: this could be useful.  One friend cracked some jokes on the potential applications, kind of similar to my initial dramatic thought that involves a striking long legged spy and her N97 (you can activate the phone’s camera remotely via Internet anywhere in the world amongst other bizarre things you can do).  Another friend, a Nokia non-supporter said: It is kind of pointless eh?

Life is full of pointless little things, I think.  At times I wonder what is the point in spending time with those social networking sites.  Recently, I looked into the periodic table via a free application called “Elements” from the Nokia OVI Store.  Did you know that there is an element called Einsteinium (Es)?  Its existence, from what I read, is pretty pointless.  Named after you-know-who.  To artificially create Einsteinium, first you need to irradiate plutonium-239 inside a nuclear reactor for couple of years.  Then mix the resulting plutonium-242 isotope with aluminum and further irradiate this mixture inside a nuclear reactor for another year or so.  The result is a mixture of Californium and Einsteinium that can be separated.

So, what’s the use of Einsteinium?  It could be pointless to some.  Or as an intermediate step in advancing scientific research to others.  I wonder if it would be safe to drink from a mug made in Einsteinium.

Einsteinium on Nokia app Elements

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Whacky Thoughts

Crash! A “Retired” Cyclist Perching At A Flyover Overlooking The Streets Of Singapore

I looked at the road outside my home and I remembered one past event

“You really should relive your days of glory, pick up a bicycle, and cycle with us,” said my good old friend Rob time and time again when we meet up for lunch.  And as always, I laughed it off and changed the topic.  His determined eyes do pierce through my heart, though I am not showing it at all.  Ah, the fire of passion and what remains as pride and ego on what I have humbly achieved as a cyclist, a long time ago back in UK.  Maybe those eyes of determination in getting me back on a bicycle are now mixed with a tint of doubt, on what I claim I have achieved.  Alas!  My passion has taken me further than being a recreational cyclist.  But Singapore is not a conducive environment for anything more than that.

In my humble opinion, that is.

My friend TK shared with me an accident he witnessed, at the exact location as we emerged from the Raffle City car park.  It was heavy pour, on the last day of the IT Show, and I was dropping him off to another building, where he parked his car.  “There were cars parked right here, not moving, aligning passengers, holding up traffic” he began the story.  One car behind grew impatient, honking and prompting the cars in front to move.  Still, the road was blocked.  The driver from behind managed to go over the divider, slowly passing the stationary cars in front, staring fiercely at the people inside.  As the car inched towards the main road, while we presume the driver was still staring at the culprits of the holdup, in anger, a bus went by from the left and smashed onto the car whose driver was too busy staring at other drivers, not looking at the main road ahead.

Bam!

As TK finished the story, he screamed, “Watch out!”  I too was inching towards the main road while listening to the story attentively.

I love to cycle, back in the UK.  It is the climate, the long distance, and the hills.  Here in Singapore, it is humid, a city, and is mostly flat.  Back then when I was in UK, the government has law and infrastructure that supports the cycling community.  In the town of Oxford, there were (most likely still are) cycling lanes alongside with the main roads.  Cycling on the pedestrian pavement was not allowed, neither was cycling in the dark with no light.  Cyclists must observe all traffic rules.  They gave hand signals when changing lanes or even to indicate going straight.  The drivers took care of the cyclists and gave a much wider space when overtake.  In short, my vision of a conducive environment for cyclists – recreational and enthusiast alike – should be as such.  The government, the motorists, and the cyclists all play a part.

My friend Rob and I talked crazy ideas evolving about cycling all the time.  From automatic tyre pressure adjustment based on terrain condition (and the how), to real time injection of glucose solution into our blood stream as our bodies take the toll of intensive cycling (and more).  Then one day, he shared with me one accident that involved one of our common friends.

Three cyclists, at the East Coast Park service road, formed a line, one after another.  A car tried to overtake, impatiently, as it followed the cyclists from behind.  When the opportunity aroused, the car sped away, swung in front of the cyclists, and jam braked.  Our common friend couldn’t stop in time, smashed onto the back of the car, thrown into the air, landed onto the ground with a dislocated shoulder and scratches.  He was hospitalized, out of work for one month.  It was a hit and run.

Bam!

It is always good to wrap up a writeup with a more positive picture.  So picture this with me.  I was in UK, with my partner, and we cycled from Oxford to Edinburgh, with our camping gear.  One hill, must have been somewhere near Scotland, looked pretty majestic from a distance, but it induced fear.  It was a long and steep slope.  20 kg at my back, in bright daylight, I challenged both the limitation of my physical and mental strength.  Halfway through the slope, one huge farming tractor, the kind of big wheeler, trailed behind me, not overtaking me.  Just trailed behind me.

My body were aching, but my will was strong.  My partner he gave up halfway and had decided to push the bicycle up.  I pressed on.  And towards the top of the hill, the huge tractor overtook me, with a wide margin away from me.  The driver gave me a huge thumb-up and drove away, disappeared into the horizon.  At the top of the slope, I collapsed onto the grassy ground by the side of the road, I looked back, waiting for my partner.  That, was the scene that has been with me, will be with me for the rest of my life.  That thumb-up, the back of the driver, the support, that tractor, and my bicycle.  That, is what I want to relive.

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My Favorite Whacky Thoughts

U2! Down the Memory Lane on a Nostalgic Hazy Friday

UB40 didn’t make it, U2 does.  When I was a little boy, I often camped at the record stores, going through the catalogue organized by alphabets day after day, month after month.  There weren’t that many group artists under the letter “U”.  “Red Red Wine (1983)” and “Can’t Help Falling in Love (1993)” still put a smile to my face.  But I wish there are more from UB40.  Its association to U2 according to the secret dream world of mine on a nostalgic hazy Friday stops at the letter “U”.

You ask 100 people what music means to them and you may get 100 different answers – from the extreme of “music is my life” to “music is just the background”.  But what does music mean to me?

I think music is to inspire, to freeze a moment in life that hearing the same song is to reminisce and be drifted to that same place in time.  I remember one past relationship whenever I listen to “With or Without You”.  She loves the song, I love the simplicity.  It is a song I sing along with, play my guitar with, a kind of secret love affair so visually crafted – the thorns and the shore – and beyond which, “With or Without You” has planted the seed of inspiration to my music creation journey.

U2's Get On Your Boots

I started to collect Compact Discs two decades ago.  And “Achtung Baby (1991)” was amongst the very first set of discs in my collection.  It was the time when all of a sudden I have my own stereo system, have the means to blast my own music, the kind of empowerment that any young boy may find it overpoweringly exhilarating, sharing his music in the presence of his family members.  No, it was not the era of angst, nor the age of the nu-metal.  It was the day of “Money for Nothing” and the good old “Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses”.  It was a time when “Achtung Baby” was played during every meal and at the corner of my curious eyes, I tried to catch a glimpse of my father’s reaction.  None.  He was cool with “Achtung Baby”.  He didn’t express any liking to U2 like he did to Prince.  And there was no dislike either.  So vividly I remember the dinning table in my humble living room in Hong Kong, with my family around the table, and the stereo by the window on top of a study table that was handcrafted by my father, with my help.  I can almost smell my mother’s cooking.

Music Power House!  What a nostalgic chain name.  Back in the days of UK and Paris, I camped inside HMV, inside Tower Records.  In Singapore, back in the late nineties, we had Music Power House (MPH) – a beautifully renovated, comfortable, spacious store that sold music and more.   Our National Library at the old site is gone, so is MPH next to it, making way for a tunnel that all of a sudden, appeared from nowhere.  The rapid change of the Singapore landscape: one day we had an underpass, one day it was gone, one day we had a pedestrian flyover, one day it was gone (the connection between the Citilink Mall and SunTech Mall in case if you wonder).

I bought “Zooropa (1993)” that came with a shiny silver MPH sticker and U2’s music has accompanied me during some of those long, long hours of traveling in Singapore.  Some say the traffic system here is efficient but as someone who was born in Hong Kong, I have my reservation.  Back in the days of “Zoorapa”, I had a Discman.  It was the days before wireless phone has become popularized.  I doubt if anyone back then would imagine that we could listen to music from one of these devices.  Maybe one day, music can be streamed directly into our brains.  I like “Zoorapa”, I really do.  The bizarre experimental sound of “Numb” and “Babyface” just works for me.  Don’t beat the oddballs.  Mass appeal doesn’t determine artistic value.  It is the same oddball who thinks “Monster” is the most interesting R.E.M. album ever made.

Paris, in the late nineties, I was the only one from Singapore working with a French client in the land of romance.  English, is a precious ‘commodity’ in Paris.  The music, the television programs, the road signs, the food menus, the conversations around me, everything is in French.  My rare moment of getting in touch with something I can understand was the MTV program that I looked forward to, every working morning, inside a hotel room that I stayed for months.  It was this period of time when “Discothèque” from the “Pop (1997)” album was played and I would dance to the funky beats, amazed at the then 37 years old Bono.  His energy was infectious.  Disco music being brought back to life in the late nineties.  Paris, in the land of romance, watching Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton, and Larry Mullen Jr. dancing in that silly disco beat every morning.  It was the anthem of my life.  I believe I could fly, I believe I could climb the Eiffel Tower (which I did, to the second level).

People don’t like “Zoorapa”, but I do.  People don’t like “Pop”, but I do.  And when U2 – in their own words – reapplied for the job to be the best band in the world in the beginning of this new millennium, I get disconnected with their last two efforts.  They have just released a new single “Get on Your Boots” from the upcoming album “No Line on the Horizon”.  It is meant to be a departure from their previous two albums.  If it is so, this oddball may love it.