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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 10 – Of Password, Viking Game, And American Idol

Oil Painting Morphed

Cynthia’s mother is leaving, my mother is arriving.  I think I need a holiday.

We all do something stupid, in the past.  I can’t explain why the paranoid.  I mean, those are just computer files and pictures and seemingly useless stuffs now that I am looking at them.  But back then, I put a protective password to every single file, every zip file that archived a bunch of protected files.  That was madness, paranoid, and stupid. I am desperate to retrieve an old Excel file, all of a sudden.

Till now, I am still trying to crack my brain for that password.  I know it is somewhere.  I shall call a hypnotist for help.

And in this digital pile of junk, I have uncovered more than I could remember, more than I want to remember.  Documents of (failed) business venture, diary, love letters, hate letters, letters that have never been sent, countless gaming programs I attempted to create including something as absurd as a Viking game (it is actually quite a good asymmetric game from York, UK, I think) – it was supposed to be a game of me against the machine, baby! Life of a geek in solitude, used to be.

I wonder.  Where did I manage to find time to do all these?

My world was pure in the beginning.  Before I left Hong Kong, I listened to classical music most of the time.  The first English pop song I fell in love was Madonna’s “Like a Prayer”.  The first pop cassette I owned was “Like a Prayer”.  Before Cynthia came to my world, I hardly watched any TV programs. Now, I am a …

How I love to watch American Idol!  Another new season, another something to look forward to, another something to cry upon.  There are already some eye candies whom I really like.  Even that boy with altitude … I mean … gosh, where did they find these people from?  Monday, “Dirt”, Tuesday, “Heroes”, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday “American Idol”, any day, “E!”, “[V]”.  To top up the list, there are always Oprah and America’s Top Something.

TV has taken control of my life!

OK, I am still cracking my brain for that password.  Cynthia’s mother is leaving, my mother is arriving.  I think I need more PJs.

Don’t ask.

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 9 – Questions, Questions

Oil Painting Morphed

One day, a girl in front of me flip-opened her phone. Wallpaper was a picture of two girls. Two good friends perhaps. I thought it was beautiful. I wonder what if you see a guy in front has a wallpaper of two guys instead. Or three, with heads close to one another. Something wrong … with that picture?

One day, I was practicing my music, like I have done since primary school. I was suddenly inspired to classify daily non-work related, personal activities into two types. Give (type I) and take (type II). Type I activities are like cooking. Singing. Playing instruments. Writing diary. Writing stories. Blogging. Painting. Making models. Jogging. You take something from within you and give it to the environment outside of you. Type II activities are like watching TV. Reading. Surfing the net. Playing computer games. Listening to radio. This time, you take in things passively from the outside.

So, which type of activity do you usually do? In your free time?

And I think type I activities are in general therapeutic, euphoric from within. I enjoy type I activities and I think that type II is a waste of time.

Then I change my mind. Perhaps some people enjoy taking, more so than giving. One day, I was on the plane. Besides me was this super hyper kid, totally lack of manner. No “thank you” nor “please” when talking to the SIA air-hostess. What has our future become? He looked like a rich kid. His whole family looked rich.

Or maybe just because I am from the service industry, all my life, I think that was rude. Maybe his daddy thinks it’s okay. Hence, it is just a change of perspective? That explains what goes round in the world, why people behave differently? People from the front line are trained to put on a happy face all the time when facing clients doesn’t mean that everyone has to comply? Who set the rules anyway.

Year 2008. Will Israel progress towards withdrawing the troops from the Palestine settlement while Palestine will dismantle the terrorism within? Will Taiwan progress towards unifying with China now that the opposition has gained more seats than the ruling party? Will North Korea progress towards unifying with the South Korea now that the leaders are to meet the third time? High hope for the year 2008?

In Bush’s visit to Middle East, he preached about democracy. What would a king from the Middle East preach about if he does visit the West? Is democracy really the way to go?  Or it is just like the perspective on the happy faces, the giving and taking type of daily personal activities.

Year 2008. Doesn’t look pretty so far. “Subprime” is the word of the year for 2007. I wonder what will it be for year 2008.

So, what’s wrong with all these pictures.  Maybe nothing is wrong.  Maybe everything is wrong.

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 8 – A Story

At night, I drive. Clueless about direction. Clueless about my destination. A listless body. Heavy in breathing. Clueless about where I am heading. Clueless about what I am doing. I drive, at night.

Porcelain, unblemished whiteness. Below which a story less common. And to life, we toast. And this moment, we live. Above which a being least ordinary. Fragile darkness, pain.

The spirit is high. In red and white. Under the starry night. We smile and weep. We stumble and humbled. Until the darkness falls. In black and grey. The road is wide.

I hardly know you. At night, I drive. Familiar places. Unfamiliar road signs. Sometimes, I wish. An angel comes by.

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 7 – Numbers

Sometimes I wonder, how many pairs of non-work related user id and password we have to memorize these days? I actually have to keep a record on paper and there are close to 45 pairs. In the order of importance, they are: [1] Essential accounts (14%) like the SingPass, [2] Web mail accounts (7%), [3] Gaming accounts (7%) – oh yes, online gaming ranks high in my life, [4] Shopping accounts (12%) like Amazon.com, [5] Utility accounts (17%) like the anti-virus site that asks for my account info oh so often, [6] Social accounts (38%) like YouTube, my favorite forums etc etc, [7] Misc accounts (5%) like those require you to create an account in order to submit a job application.

Seriously, Microsoft may be the evil one. But imagine the world with just one user id and password … the Microsoft Passport. (And no, my passwords are not all the same.)

For days, I have been wondering why the sign at the car park entrance says: season or hourly parking only. What else can that be? One day I turned to Cynthia as the car entered the car park for an answer. Within seconds, she answered: loading unloading? D’oh! At times I think my brain is hardwired in a certain way.

Talking about hard-wiring, since young I was taught how to subtract numbers in a certain way. For instance, to subtract 300 from 128, I would start from the right and work myself to the left. When I top up my cash card, I always round it up. An obsessive behavior of mine. I would stand in front of the ATM trying to work out what to key in for, say, S$78.53 left in my card. I would work from right to left (7, 4, 1, 2, 2) and then have a hard time reversing the order of the answer (S$221.47).

Then one day, I have decided to work from left to right. It works wonder and it is really not that hard. Now I can even work out how to top up 1,395,296,105.49 to 3 trillion without thinking (answer: 1,604,703,894.51). I wonder why I was not taught that way at school.

And one day, I turned to Cynthia and shared with her my “great discovery”. Her response was: all along that was the way I subtract!

Stupid I felt and in British English, the word “ass” means either a stupid person (informal) or a donkey (old use). I wonder if the words “dumb ass” was inspired by a donkey at all.

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 6 – Where Does Money Come From?

From young, my parents taught me that we work hard for food – like the farmers, like the fishermen. To be successful in life, we work hard. If I had my own child, I would probably have redefined what success means. I would have preached that hard work only earns you (in most cases) a decent living. To be successful, the first thing to do is to forget about working hard. Only then you have time to think and to act out of the norm. I wish I have studied economy instead.

I may not know much about economy. But I have experienced diminishing marginal returns today. Lunch. One colleague of mine wanted to take a train to Bugis Junction for a change. Another one wanted a burger meal. We headed to Bugis and I felt for my “burger-loving” colleague. So after I had a full chicken rice set, I turned to him and asked …

“Burger?”

His eyes lit up. The group of four headed to McDonald’s. My “burger-loving” colleague and I each ordered a chicken burger. We finished. I asked …

“Burger?”

His eyes lit up. And both of us headed to the counter and ordered another S$2 burger. We finished. I kept quiet. Another colleague of ours said …

“Let’s have one round of burger for the four of us!”

By the time I had my 3rd burger, I have experienced diminishing marginal returns.

After lunch, I could not focus. My blood has gone to somewhere but my brain. Our intern stepped in and announced that our bank has offered him a job starting next August.

“Congratulations!” I screamed in excitement.

Then I learned that the starting pay for a fresh local graduate for the graduate program is close to …

S$4k a month

FOUR THOUSANDS DOLLARS?! Then another colleague of mine told me that according to the newspaper, one fresh graduate joins an investment bank for S$12k. Couples of years back, some graduates couldn’t even find a job. It’s all about timing.

Ignorance is bliss. Too bad you are reading this blog entry.

I know our Singapore’s Straits Time Index (STI) is hitting 4000 soon. But seriously, where does all the money come from? One friend of mine with a working capital of S$300-400k has generated S$100k profit from the stock market in 1 year. As a hobby. And he has a full time job.

Not everyone benefits from the stock market nor the very company we join that has the double-digit growth has something to do with our pay increment. My next topic? The landlords.

My favorite news-stand at Far East Square was used to give me a discount of 50 cents for magazines less than S$10 and 1 dollar otherwise. Always. These days I seldom see the two staff who used to sit outside, whom I mingled often. This evening, the boss was outside. I was sure that he wouldn’t give me a discount.

And he didn’t.

But we had a great chat. His landlord is increasing the rent from S$6k to S$9k by April next year. That is a 50% increase in rental. Can he pass that to the consumers? Probably not. No one is going to pay a CLEO magazine for S$6.60 instead of S$4.40. He has already got rid of one of his staff (S$1k salary) and gave his another staff a S$200 rise to cover the extra work. But he is going to close down his shop because of high rental. Sad. As I do love his magazine collection. He is not seeking other places because the rental is as bad. The shop next door of his has already changed hand four times. For a S$9k rental. The previous owners each lost 6 months of deposit.

Economy going strong but yet, shops like my favorite news-stand has to retrench staff and close down. Huh?

Hard work does not pay off but I do respect those who work hard. Like one cashier at Cold Storage. I asked if she has her dinner and she told me that she lives in JB (Malaysia). By the time she reaches home, it is 11 at night. 2 hours it takes for her to travel to home. Then she will eat and start another day, early.

I still don’t know where money comes from. But I am certain that you can’t get rich by merely working hard.

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 5 – All Walks Of Life

A life worth writing is a life worth living, true or false?

Planet Earth caters for all walks of life. One evening I returned home. At the lobby there was a kid and a maid. 6 feet away there was a cat by the driveway. The kid kept chanting: cat, run over by the car and die … Why all this evilness of wishing another living creature dead? Extra earning equals to lesser time at home equals to a twisted next generation with the illusory help of a maid. Think family values.

Why are we trying so hard to be who we are not? At least some of us do. Overwhelmed by self-deception. Wake up! Be one with yourself. Feel blessed of who you are. You don’t need to be that someone else.

At a convenience store at Orchard, I queued to pay for my Snapple. A teen girl in front inquired: how much does vodka cost? In a board daylight. Barely legal. And there was a group of teen girls pulling out ten dollar notes determined to get that bottle of vodka over the counter. In a broad daylight. What has the world turned into?

At a convenience store near town, I entered to look for pain killer. I couldn’t find the drug and approached the sale assistance. If I am to tell you which store I was at, she will get fired and I will feel really guilty. You will know why. In just a bit.

I approached the counter. Asked for pain killer. The sale assistance pointed me to the right direction. I looked at the pricing and gasped! It must have been at least 20%-40% more expensive than other convenience stores. The sale assistance looked at me and said: don’t buy it if you don’t want to, it is way too expensive. And she repeated – in a kind and concern way. I am certain that she would not buy that from that shop either.

I love people around me in general. One day during lunch at a food center, I sat at a table with three strangers. After I finished my meal, before I left, I said with a smile: enjoy your lunch. The three ladies stared at me in a hostile manner as though I shouldn’t have said anything. I bought my dessert, sat somewhere else. Again … blah blah blah … I said with a smile: enjoy your lunch to the man siting opposite me. This stranger looked at me, smiled, and he said: thank you.

There are many types of people living around us.

Think. A life worth living is definitely a live worth writing. True or false?

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 4 – Technology In The Age Of The Dogs

At work we talk about reward and recognition. How often do we show signs of recognition to and reward our loved ones, our family members, and … our friends? The words “I love you” is never being said enough. And it is never too frequent to be recognised. And yes, thank you for being an avid reader of my site. You are the best friend I have.

I confess. I am a man of technology. But I have only got to use a web-cam very recently. The experience was foreign. Why have I resisted for so long? I don’t know. Somehow I feel uncomfortable in front of a web-cam. Perhaps I am not a movie star material. Perhaps being in front of a camera makes me want to hide. Perhaps I am naked at home most of the time.

Whatever the reason was and is, I felt awkward when my sister set up her laptop. In my own house. One month ago. While my mother was still in town. In front of the screen there were my sister, my mother, Cynthia and I. Behind the screen was my father in Hong Kong. Except there was no one behind the screen. The one thing that separated us was just distance. Though at that moment, I felt all that separated my father and I was the computer screen.

White furry animal. Pacing around my home in Hong Kong. It was a dog. A handsome dog. I ain’t a dog lover. But it is hard not to love my family’s dog while cursing at my neighbor’s dog. For its non-stopping barking. For God’s sake. Give that dog some food! Somebody! Please!

Dad said the dog was sad. Sad that my sister is no longer in town. Sad that my mother was no longer in town. No, the dog did not recognise us from the computer screen. My dad tried to lift the dog to the screen level. My mother tried to wave thousands of miles away. My sister tried to wave thousands of miles away.

Day 2 … my mother tried, my sister tried …

And I suggested something …

Then something happened. That unleashed the awareness level within the dog. The dog began to bark.

Hear Master’s Voice.

As suggested, my father connected the sound output away from the headset and into the hi-fi. All of a sudden, the dog recognised my mother’s voice. Recognised my sister’s voice. Soon, he was barking to the computer screen. And teared (he is a very emotional dog).

Hear Master’s Voice.

Perhaps Jesus did not die. Perhaps Jesus did not resurrect. Perhaps Jesus knows how to travel through time and space. Perhaps what he did was to briefly step out our world, appeared to his disciples in surreal images, reappear again in mortal form only to ascend to Heaven shortly.

Perhaps we are just not aware of what we see are in fact real, however surreal these signals are … just like the image of my mother, my sister, Cynthia and me on the computer screen thousands of miles away from where we actually are. In the eyes of a dog.

Show some love. Love connects us all. Love someone. Have someone to love you.

Peace.

Hear Master’s Voice.

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Snippet Of My Life Episode 3 – $0.50

A genuine smile dissolves the deepest frown. Try it wherever you can. Think of something happy when you smile. To whoever you meet.

Time to buy my favorite gaming magazine from my favorite news-stand near Cynthia’s office. The news-stand assistance and I smiled at each other from afar. Like long lost friend. I pulled out the magazine from the box. Price tag said $7. He said $7. I jerked backward so sudden that he jerked backward too and laughed.

“$7?! You always give me a discount!” I said with a big smile not sure why I said these words in the first place. Oscar winning performance on my part.

$6.50 he charged me. Simple as that. My ERP going home was somewhat covered.

Met my good old friend SW for two games of pool (0-2, I lost). Haven’t seen him for half a year. Over the pool table, a thought came into my mind. Then a vision followed. Job search is like playing pool. Except when start, besides the white ball, there are no colored balls visible on the pool table. And the table is exceptionally large. But you know there are plenty of balls on the table. Jobs are everywhere. You just cannot see them.

Then you spend a lot of time shooting the white ball in different directions. You spend a lot of time not shooting and ponder why no colored balls are visible instead. And you spend a lot of time doing nothing because you are bored of shooting air.

Just when you want to shoot darts instead, your supposed last shot hit an invisible ball and it turns visible. The visible ball hits some other neighboring invisible balls and they too become visible. Suddenly you have more targets on the pool table. Some take forever to roll towards a pocket. And some disappear on the way to the pocket.

Pretty much like in real life, SW shot multiple balls into the pockets one after another and so did I (out of the extraordinary), in this pool of visible and invisible job opportunities, there are days when you can hardly breath just preparing for interviews.

The search continues. And I have less than 50 km to find my job (more will be revealed later).

Stay tuned.

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Snippet Of My Life Episode 2 – Lost In Translation

She speaks. I listen. She finishes her question. I translate.

You speak. I listen. You finish your answer. I translate.

She smiles. You smile. While I anticipate the next string of words in either language.

She tells a story. I translate at each suitable interval. I speak while I listen. I listen while I speak. It is a long story.

You find the story interesting so you interject with a witty remark. I speak while I listen to your remark. I translate your remark while listening to her speaks. And the story continues.

I think while I translate. I translate while I listen. I listen while I think. Now, I wish to interject. Because the story got me interested. Two languages. One after another. Every time I make a comment.

She smiles. You smile. And I smile because of the oddity of speaking all the time. In both languages. Most of the time I am talking into space. Soon, I am lost in translation.

If that is not odd enough, now it is time for me to tell a story. In two languages. In near real time. Are you ready?

I saw a dog on the street. Listening to music. 我在街上看見一隻狗。傾聽音樂。 A man was jogging. Tripped over the dog’s tail and nearly fell onto the ground. 一個人在跑步。被狗的尾巴絆倒, 幾乎跌倒了。 The dog howled in pain 狗在痛苦中嗥叫了 and started chasing after the man 開始追逐那個人. Ten minutes later the dog returned with something in his mouth that looked like a wallet. 十分鐘後, 狗返回, 似乎咬著一個錢包。 The dog dropped the the wallet onto my guitar case 狗把錢包投入我的吉他盒 as I continued to sing 當我繼續唱歌. I saw a dog on the street listening to my music. 我看見了一隻狗在街上, 傾聽我的音樂。

(1st translation by computer, 2nd translation by Lora)

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Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 1 – Underwater Condos

Should you blog for yourself or should you blog for the visitors who read your blog? Where does self-indulgence begin and public demand of affection end?

Dan and Young at 98.7FM asking callers to finish off the sentence “Singapore needs more …”. One lady caller replied “animal lovers”. On the same stretch of road a day ago, I jam braked my car to avoid killing a monkey that was strolling along the street. A dog from my neighbour barks incessantly. I dream of hundreds of ways to shut it up.

Met JS for lunch. We talked about building houses in Singapore. I want one with a basement. Not just one but twelve. I want a lift that gets me to B12. Carbon dioxide sinks so I want a garden at B12 with 24 hours daylight to suck up the CO2. I don’t want to faint at my basement for the lack of O2.

I want a house with twelve levels of basement underwater. Like an aquarium. JS laughed. It’s impossible he said. I said have the concept first and leave the details to the scientists! And to the scholars of Singapore! Rubberized concrete. Suspension system. Whatever it takes. I want to build a condo underwater.

Global warming. Water level is rising. Environment around us is changing. Way too slow. Incremental accommodations of the change paint us deeper into a corner. Same mechanism that wiped off the Greenland Norse civilisation (Google it). Underwater condos and houses are our future.