Two things. First, I am happy that McGraw-Hill Education Asia has published an excerpt of my book review at their website. This is my third contribution to their site, and I don’t take this opportunity for granted for sure. I feel blessed and I shall do better. Do follow the link and check out other reviews too. There are books from thinking to innovation, GE to Toyota, water reuse to Windows Vista, and more.
Second, after I have written the review for that book on ethics, I can’t help but to talk to the people around me on what I’ve learned (I do practice what I preached about learning and sharing). Inevitably, it often comes down to the topic of ‘white lies’.
Before I continue, please allow me to recap: (1) ethics code is my personal code, a set of guidelines on what I should or should not do and (2) I am not using my own ethics code to judge or criticize anyone. With that said, here are the interesting questions and responses I wish to share.
Question 1 – Is it OK for us to tell ‘white lies’?
Usually I get a positive response saying it is OK to white-lie.
Question 2 – Isn’t ‘white lie’ a form of deception?
Some may not agree that telling a ‘white lie’ is being deceptive. Some point out that if it is harmless, it is OK to white-lie to someone. And I think to myself: Harmless to whom?
Question 3 – Is it OK for me to white-lie to you? If so, how much white-lies you can take from me?
According to what I have read, from one of the surveys conducted, most people think that it is OK to tell ‘white lies’ but only a minority feel that it is OK to be white-lied to. So why the discrepancy?
I don’t know about you all (again, point 1 and 2 above). But if you are my friend, I’d rather you don’t white-lie to me if possible even if you think it is harmless. Let me decide on that.
Cool?
12 replies on “My 3rd Blogger Book Review at McGraw-Hill Education / Would You Like Me to (White) Lie to You?”
Which species of dinosaurs are you!?
ECL – Ha ha ha … The not too old one …
Haha I would think its ok to white lie to me as long as you make sure I dont find out.
We don’t white-lie… We just tell the specific bit of the truth
Si Ying – Ha ha ha … OK. Chances are, people are in general smart and they will find out sooner or later. I guess what the authors propose is not to deceive others so as to build better relationships. (Please see my comment below).
AY – Hmmm … how about this little scenario.
Person A wants to invite Person B for a picnic at his home over the weekend. Person B is not up to it because he has a rough week at work and wants a restful weekend. He could …
(1) Tell Person A that he has a rough week at work and gives it a pass this time.
or
(2) Tell Person A that he needs to work over the weekend and hence won’t have time to attend the picnic.
I think case (2) probably goes into the harmless ‘white lie’ category that is nowhere near to the truth. Chances are, if Person B sticks with the truth, he may have started a fruitful conversation with Person A on what issues he has faced at work. And who knows, relationship may be deepened. Person A may counter propose something else to help B to de-stress.
I would.
How about that….
Person A can tell Person B that he has other plans already and cannot make it this time. The part of the truth that has not be revealed to Person B is that the plan is actually resting over the week end.
AY – Is that an untruth? In my example, it is an untruth (and some may choose to make up stories to avoid doing something). In your example, “other plans” is kind of vague, ya?
It is almost like “look dude, I am not coming to your party”.
The question is: What if Person A then asks, “What other plans do you have for the weekend, care to share?”
Then what’s next?
Ya, and I dislike to find out that I have been white lied. Maybe I am still young, but to people who arent that real (or have other hidden agendas) I really feel like they shouldnt even bother to talk to me. Haha
Si Ying – Ha ha ha … OK. It is true that most of us don’t like to be white-lied to (if we manage to find out). I feel that the same should apply when dealing with others too.
At least for those “real” ones … ha ha ha.
I am not “white” lying you but I have not been reading and commenting on your blog for the past 2 wks! Busy lah!
Tigerfish – No worries 🙂 I know you must be busy. Take it easy ya?