Condo Bulletin: The Sex Edition

Text excerpt in case you can’t read the screenshot: “Residents, please advise your domestic helpers not to fraternize with the guards, cleaners … in the estate.  Of late, a domestic helper was found … at a staircase offering sex service …”

One evening, Cynthia told me that our condo was featured in the local newspaper on how much the residents – past and present – love to stay.  Old condos do have their charm.  And ours comes with a very good management team on top of wide open space and greenery.

At times I wonder how does our condo manager finds the energy to write the bulletin month after month.  Cynthia doesn’t read any of the bulletins.  If not for me, she would chuck them into the bin right next to our mailbox every time she sees one.  As for me, I read each bulletin if I get to them before Cynthia does.  One, I would like to keep abreast of what’s happening in our estate.  Two, Mr. Manager has been writing bulletins non-stop for more than a decade.  What a waste if nobody reads.  I write too, here in this site.  So I can relate.

Item #3 “Scratching of Vehicles” caught my eyes first.  Before the sex related items above and below it does.  In fact, the second item I read was the latest installation of free wi-fi access at our pools.  Finally.

Back to item #3, one resident got his car scratched twice, in the dark.  And he deduced that it was the same parking lot when that happened.  Maybe someone is not happy that his or her preferred parking lot was taken by another resident.  That is vicious.  Because in our condo, we can park at any available parking lot.  I could be parking at that lot.  Back to the story, an ambush was conducted (!!), with the participation of our security guards I suppose.  But they have failed to catch the culprit.  Therefore, Mr. Manager ends that paragraph with a stern warning instead.

One morning, Cynthia put down the newspaper and said to me, “There have been a lot of corruption cases lately.”  “In Singapore?” I asked.  “Here and everywhere!” she replied.  Times are bad, I gather.  And when times are bad, vices breed.  Maybe that’s why some domestic helpers are offering sex to the construction workers, guards, and other men in our condo.  If I had a domestic helper at home – which I don’t think I would want to – I seriously have no idea how to ask her not to fraternize with the men here.  Wouldn’t I give her the idea instead?!

Text excerpt of the above screenshot: “The Management Office received many complaints of young couples doing indecent acts in the swimming pools especially at night … We wish to inform residents that … it is an offence for any one … to cause embarrassment to other[s].”

Cynthia and I were laughing hard after we have read the shocking news on the sex life of some of our condo’s domestic helpers.  We were in tears when we read some of the younger couples are making out inside the pools.

The pools?!

I reckon there are more than 150 units facing each pool.  Too bad, my unit faces the pool that is next to the guard house.  The action must have happened over at the other pool.  But still, inside a pool?  There are many dark spots in our condo.  I would feel freezing cold inside the pool in wee hours.  Tsk tsk tsk … those hot blooded young couples.  Would I feel embarrassed if I see a couple making out in public?  I don’t know.  Perhaps not.

Maybe Mr. Manager is bored at writing the same sort of bulletin month after month and wanted to do something different.  For what is worth, I am looking forward in reading the next condo bulletin, due to arrive at our mailbox some time this week.