Reality Can Be Cold At Times

No one should see his or her savings seized twice – once at prime age and another time at golden age. My poor aunt who is now in Paris was in Vietnam when the war was lost and witnessed all our family’s assets – pharmaceutical factory, tea plantations, shop houses, and etc. – seized by the communist. She was thrown into jail and left with nothing. Having missed the age of marriage taking care of the family business that was vanished together with the Vietnam war, my aunt started a new life in Paris together with our family’s lifelong friend whom I call uncle. I have had the opportunity to meet with them when I was studying in UK and when I was working briefly in Paris. I have not met my aunt in Vietnam (according to what I have heard, all my family’s assets are now converted to my aunt’s husband’s family name) nor am I that close to my uncle and aunt in Canada whom refused to lend me money to study in Oxford. Not only that, they blamed my aunt in Paris for doing so. My mother managed to settle the loan from my aunt in Paris before I got my degree.  Now, take that!  (Thanks mom.)

And it is my uncle and aunt in Canada – who I think they are doing pretty good judging by the fact that my cousins are all doing pretty good – together with one of my cousins (who is now going through a divorce), they continuously suck money out from my aunt and uncle in Paris time over time. The latest figure? Half a million US dollars. The scam was formed for a promise to migrate my half-paralyzed aunt over to Canada. In reality? They just take the money and be merry. My aunt is still bedridden in Paris and my 82 years old uncle is still taking care of her on his own, with the help of the French government’s monthly subsidy.

I learned the news today from my sister and mother and I called my uncle in Paris on the same night. At the end of the conversation, I promise him not to pursue the matter any further out of respect and nothing else (I am still thinking of drafting a letter to my uncle in Canada with my sister’s help … just a friendly reminder that they should take care of my aunt and uncle in Paris should the situation arises). I am deeply disappointed with how greedy some people can be despite the very fact that they are blood related. My mom and dad and my sister together may not be rich but we know what righteousness means. Family matters are complex I know but who in the right mind would go and take money from the elderly with the reason of: rather leave the money to the family than to the government? I said to my uncle in Paris, at least the government takes care of you, no? What has my uncle in Canada done for you for that matter?! Just keep the money yourself and live a comfortable life. Donate the money to a charity if you wish, just keep what is rightfully yours since you both are alone in Paris. My uncle and aunt from Canada even flew to Paris and helped my aunt and uncle in Paris to draft wills.  I am amazed at what people do for money.

Through this episode, I learn to treasure the family values that my parents have inculcated to my sister and I over the years. My sister texted me in the afternoon that my uncle in Paris asked me to have babies soon because life can be very lonely in the old age. I texted my sister back that since I have a sister like her to burden, my life is settled. She reminded me that when I am 84, she will be 80. I know my sister and I have each other. And that is all that matter when the time comes.

Gosh, I could actually write a book with the storyline inspired by this episode.  I said to my uncle in Paris that if by this summer they are still in Paris (as they plan to migrate to Vietnam very soon), Cynthia and I will visit them.  Otherwise, we will head over to Vietnam.

I was in tears when I talked with him over the phone. Reality can be cold at times.