I spent the first half of my career life working in an International environment and then switched to a workplace whereby local Singaporeans seldom talk about sex. Now that I am back in an International environment and check this out – on day 5, I was squeezed into a small meeting room full of guys as my new workspace (my first month at work will be another story) and was surprised at what sort of topics these guys talk about.
Before getting into the juicy bits, here is some background in what I mean by “International”. Our project team comprises of an Indian freshly from India, an Indian freshly from Middle East, an Indian who studied and worked in US, a few local Singaporeans, a Korean who is now studying in US, a couple more from the West, and me who is born in Hong Kong and have studied in UK. I must have gotten “domesticated” by the local environment (which is not a bad thing really) when most locals at their 30’s talk about babies and 20’s talk about … movies, food, and shopping. Now, in this meeting room, behind closed door, with audience age group ranges from early 20’s to late 20’s to … ahem … mid 30’s to late 50’s, there is one topic in common.
Sex.
One day, some of us started to comment on how to improve our shitty environment with so many of us squeezed into a small meeting room working environment, I suggested that we need a Plasma TV. Somehow that conversation has gone from CNN to videos to … porn – totally beyond the control of the relatively rather innocent me. Then out of the blue, one guy started talking about ways to download porn and before I could recovered from a dropping jaw, the topic turned into various fetishes found in porn videos – in graphical details.
Not that I have anything against what’s inside porn. Just that talking freely about it with an audience of such a wide age group and cultural diversity sort of makes me gasp. But that is not the most shocking of all …
It is the sex life revelation from one of the young Singaporean that intrigues me the most. (Strangely, the subject of our interest has gone to the same school as one of the sons of my colleague in the same room and this subject of mine know his son … now, that is awkward.) I am so inspired to write a book on “Sex Life of the Singaporean Teenagers” following one of the books with the same topic written in Australia.
I am not sure how much of this is new information to you but it is certainly quite an eye-opener to me. The key “learning points” for me from a single subject are (imagine if I conduct a survey in a much wider audience like the one done in Australia):
- Some Singaporean girls are not shy about initiating sex and they start young … very young
- Some youngsters treats sex as experimental and lustfully recreational while my ideal of “deepening the passion and love between couples” seems too … old school
- Some youngsters tend to change their partners frequently within short time frame
- Sex education in Singapore may have taught the youngsters well in terms of birth control (girls actually take pills in advance to plan for sexual encounters!) but probably fails in teaching them that unprotected sex is the main reason how people contract HIV
When that young colleague of mine finished the story and left the room, I was too tongue-tied to say …
“Next time, please consider to wear a condom.”
Very soon, the topic returned to paid sex in Singapore and expanded to paid sex in various parts of the world … how the in-thing in India for men to throw money notes to the (clothed) erotic dancers and more.
My oh mine … this gives forth a new definition to OJT – “On the Job Training”.
15 replies on “Behind Closed Door, Sex Talk And All”
Wow, I think I like your new job environment already. Last time the MNC I used to work in sucks because people were so uptight. They need to loosen up. They gasped when I talked about sex (one evening in my half-drunken state). It was not healthy at all because it felt fake.
But an environment like yours… well… erm… with all the international colleagues and team members, i think that room will be kind of dark… just the way I like it 😛
hmmmm…. I’m not surprised about the sex life of the too young in Singapore. I have already given condoms to my 15 yr-old son. Not to encourage him to have sex but to have protected sex in case his raging hormones take control. ^-^
And I’m amused that you having been exposed to the culture and lifestyle abroad, still takes an old-fashion view on sex.
oh wow~~~~~~~ >O
(how come the system doesn’t capture the full message that I have typed…. let’s try again…)
oh wow~~~~ =O
the first thing came to my mind after read is…
…. your company must be very… STRESSFUL!!! hahaha… =D
(Luckily, I am working in the office full of women, except my boss at his retiring age. Our topics are still babies, kids, medical, dining place, travelling… Much easier for me who is also ‘hopelessly old-fashioned’. Thanks God.)
Darkspore – Well, to be honest, there are other stuffs we talk about. Usually work related. I am still trying to sense why this topic of sex keeps popping out. We must have some exhibitionists here.
ECL – Ya, I read about your blog on girls keep getting pregnant at your … “workplace”. It is such an eye opener to me … ha ha ha. Well, to answer your question, I am pretty open to the topic of sex of course after mixed with different cultures. But personally I take a rather different view on the emotional and spiritual linkage to the meanings and actions behind sex itself. I tend to view sex or any intimate acts as part of the enriching and at times healing process rather than the act of mindless destruction (when emotions are concerned).
Lora – Actually, it is not that stressful. Quite entertaining at times. I wonder if the topic will get old and these guys will talk about something else. Ha ha ha.
haha… no la… what I mean is that the company must be soooo ‘stressful’ that the guys need some ‘outlets’ for ‘relaxing'(?)… hahaha… 😛
oh… you do think the topic will get ‘old’…?? I am not a boy and I dunno… just thought that this is a ‘universal’ and ‘ever-young’ topic among guys… hehehe… (no discrimination though… 😛 ) let’s see whether I am right or wrong after a month… =) enjoy!
It is still too early for me to assess if the project is that stressful. But if smoking has any correlation to stress level, I think there are only 2 non-smokers in our sizable team – me and another lady colleague. Okay, you are right. It must be that stressful.
Hiya Wilfrid. Thanks for your ‘get well soon’ wishes. Really appreciate it.
Whoa. Looks like you’re working in a ‘sexually charged’ environment now. I guess SEX, apart from family, is a common topic for people. So, it will inevitably come up when you’re in liberal company. =)
And SEX is non-work related and a no brainer activity. Talking abt it sure beats discussing work during downtime sessions. Haha.
By the way, I read your blog regularly. Mind if I link you on my site?
Hiya Ivy. Good to hear that things are improving at your end. Keep writing ya? 🙂
I will be honored to have mine linked in your site. Will do likewise if you don’t mind!
I don’t know about if the company is liberal or not. Just trying to get used to the new working environment. In no time … I shall get them to talk about things like music and movies and food outlets!
Fat hope. None of them seems to be interested at these topics at all … ha ha ha.
Really interesting…. hahaha
Wilfrid, seriously how old are you??? You do sound erm…. a bit old fashion at times. My impression of a hongkonger is so not like you.
That aside, looks like you have a pretty fun-loving bunch of colleagues!
Lani! How old am I eh? Not too old yet not too young. Ha ha ha. Not to generalise culture, I am brought up in a family that has a rather strong Chinese tradition. Hence, the way I see the world through this lens of mine may be different from some others here.
Wow, sure beats working in a rundown meeting room where a rat freely runs around and you can hear the water pipe sound. Ha ha. 😉 Nope, we didn’t talk much about sex back then, did we?
But well, the prata shop makes up for it all.
Well Sing Chyun … think of the meeting room at NUS we used to occupy, same number of team members, minus the view, and half the size. Ya, now you get the picture. Stay tuned … I shall blog about the meeting room one day.